Tag: fat

Categories
General Weight Loss Tips

January Wrap-Up and Looking Ahead

I was reading Caroline’s blog this morning and cracking up over her “it will be christmas again soon” sentiment. January is coming to a close and well, here comes February.

So far this year I find myself every week checking in with my goals. The goals I set at the beginning of the year, and the new goals that develop as the year progresses. I use Sundays as my goal gathering and planning day and find that it helps keep me in check for the following week.

As I look back over the month I see a list of stuff on my calendar that I did do and didn’t do. The first couple of weeks of the year I didn’t exercise much mainly because I was cramming all of my time with extra projects. Each of those days I had on my to do list “do insanity workout” and then finally the last two weeks of the month I did it. I did Insanity every day (with Sundays off). I write this, along with all of my posts, as a reminder to myself that I’m not giving up.

What if I let those first two weeks set the tone for the year? What if I was determined to be perfect, a new person on January 1st? Would I have given up completely on the idea that eventually I’d get into it. And I did.

I’ve said this before, but when I think about why I blog. Why I share my struggles, why after 4.5 years I still come to this place to share where I’m at even if it is sometimes painful and slightly embarrassing…it’s because of my potential. It’s because deep down I trust that each time I try something new, I’m getting closer. Sticking to this one thing, even if at times I truly wasn’t here, or struggling to be here- I knew somehow there was some important growing going on even if it didn’t always feel like.

With that said, I’m just two weeks in. It’s not over, it’s not even close from over. And I have to realize that. That I need more weeks like I’ve had, adding up on each other. There isn’t a stopping point. This is my life now, if I choose to accept it. My life as someone who has to exercise, who has to consider what she is eating. This isn’t a temporary blip, a chapter of my life that ends when I see a reasonable number on the scale. I’m making this my life now.

I’ve gotten to the point where I can honestly say that the desire to be healthy is much stronger than the desire to overeat or not exercise. I’m not saying I’m cured, or perfect, or won’t even overeat again but I’ve never felt that before. I’ve always wanted the easy path. I wanted to still eat everything I wanted, I didn’t want to sacrifice my time. I didn’t want to push myself. Sure I came here, and logged exercise and points or calories. I’ve done that, but I did it in the mindset of “this is temporary, this won’t be my life forever”.

I’ve accepted that this is who I am. Someone who has to watch what she eats, and someone who has to push hard during exercise. This is my life now. I can push myself harder than I thought. I can realistically exercise everyday without getting burned out. I can take time to prepare meals. This isn’t punishment, this is investment.

So as I look ahead to February I see more solid weeks of exercise. More calorie counting. It looks fun and promising. I will eat delicious and whole foods. I will cook as much as possible. I will try new recipes. I will not go to bed without exercising. I will take Sundays off to rest.

Related Blogs

Categories
General Weight Loss Tips

Zenergy Winner + Exercise Thoughts

It’s 10pm, but I picked a name for the Zenergy Powerballs! I just scrolled through the comments with my eyes closed and pointed my finger to Jessica from http://shortystylee.wordpress.com/. Just send me an email at tokenfatgirl(at)gmail.com and I’ll have those send out to you! Thanks for your oatmeal topping comments, I forgot about adding cinnamon!

I just finished day 12 in a row (except for sundays) of exercise and I have a few comments to make, in list form.

1) I feel a lot better physically. I have no clue what I weigh, but I feel good. My body is moving better, I just feel good.

2) It doesn’t get easier. It’s only been (almost) two weeks of consistent exercise and I’m still sweating and pushing myself as hard as I was on day one. This are getting slightly easier, my stretches are a tiny bit deeper and I’m moving better.

3) I still don’t want to exercise. It’s so shocking, right? I do not want to exercise. At all. Which makes me laugh because I think my whole life I was waiting to turn into someone who wanted to exercise. The truth of the matter is, she doesn’t exist. I don’t want to. I didn’t want to tonight. I didn’t want to yesterday or the day before. I’ve craved runs before, maybe twice, but I think coming to terms with the fact that there won’t be a day when the clouds part and I want to exercise. So knowing that- I just have to do it anyway.

4) I’m exercising even when the conditions aren’t perfect. Some days I’m really sore, other days I don’t exercise until 10pm, and occasionally I have to exercise before eating dinner or getting ready for the day. We don’t have a huge living room, but we still move the couch out of the way and push the coffee table aside. I write this as a reminder to myself: I can exercise even when the conditions aren’t perfect. They never will be. I don’t need a bigger living room, the right program, a gym membership, or the right shoes to exercise. I never did.

5) I’m still fat. Hey self, guess what? You’re still fat! And you thought all you’d have to do was a couple of weeks of hard exercise and you’d be done? Nope. I’m still wearing the same clothes as I did last month. And I’m okay with all of this. At least I’m writing it as a note to myself that it’s okay. I’m trusting my process. I’m trusting that I’m doing what I need to do to be a healthier person.

I am okay with who I am today as long as I am doing everything in my power to take care of myself. To be a healthy person today, for tomorrow. That’s all I can hope for. It’s okay that I’m still fat. This doesn’t happen in two weeks, or two months.

And on to fun stuff. I’m sure we all have lives and interests outside of our trying to be healthier selves and I’d like to here about what you’re into lately. What books you’re reading, or shows you’re watching or about your closet organization.

Here it what I’m into lately:

Grey’s Anatomy- I just finished season two and I’m shamefully hooked. It just didn’t seem like my kind of show, and now I find myself watching it late at night or early in the morning. Getting my fix of Meredith, Izzie and George.

Finishing up my Valentine’s jewelry line to come out early next week!

Genealogy: We had our DNA tested by 23andme.com (nope they didn’t pay me or ask me to write this) and just got the results this week. They tell you things like genetic diseases you’re prone to getting, ancestry and other tidbits like what color eyes your future kids will have (blue for us). These results propelled us to give ancestry.com a try and oh my lord it’s so fun. I’ve traced my mother’s dad’s line all the way back to the 800’s. Turns out I’m related to the King of Sweden on a direct line from my grandfather. I’ve wanted to do this since I was a kid, but never knew how to start. I may never sleep again, why sleep when I can find out that I’m related to royalty a thousand years ago?

Related Blogs

  • Related Blogs on Clouds
Categories
General Weight Loss Tips

TFG: Cook Along: Bosnian Pita with Spinach Filling

FYI: This is a lengthy post, you will find this weeks Cook Along challenge at the bottom.

This is what I know for sure: cooking is important. I believe in food, I believe in cooking, I believe in working for delicious, healthful and satisfying food. Cooking at home is cheaper than eating out and you will always know exactly what you’re eating.

And so the Cook Along (or cookalong) was born out of this belief. The belief that getting in the kitchen will somehow make me a better person. I know this to be true. There is a satisfaction that I cannot explain in words that comes to me when I’ve prepared a meal. Some strange force that makes me feel human and whole when I shop locally. Cooking makes me feel like I have the power to change my life and the world around me.

Continue reading “TFG: Cook Along: Bosnian Pita with Spinach Filling”