Tag: Goodness

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General Weight Loss Tips

Trimming the Fat

I’ve been reading so many books lately that are rocking my world and changing my perspective. I would like to consider myself someone who is open (yet reluctant at times) to evolving my opinion and changing what I’m doing. Sometimes I worry that people see it as flighty and at times it can be, but I like to be aware of what behaviors are and are not working for me. If something doesn’t feel right I either try to change it, or change the way I look at it.

What book am I speaking of?

If you read nothing else this summer, please read this one. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my. I’m only a few pages in and I’m seeing the changes ahead of me. At first glance I thought this book was going to be about living on less, buying less and being a better consumer. And while it does touch on those subjects, Leo talks a lot about doing less. I could not have read this at a better time.

Lately (as you will notice from my lack of blog posting) that I’ve been a wee bit busy. We’re all busy right? Well, I’ve been piling things on. Saying yes when I should say no, getting less sleep, constantly trying to catch-up with my work and just trying to stay above water. All the while hoping that it would all take me to a place of productivity, more money and more freedom. I was wrong. I goodness I was wrong.

You remember my cough from a few weeks ago? I’m still coughing. I feel better, and the cough is less, but I’m still coughing. And the work that I am getting done feels rushed- a feeling that I’m truly not comfortable with.

In The Power of Less Leo compares two journalists. One who writes thirty articles a week compared to the one who writes only one a week. The first journalist gets praise from his editor for his productivity which boosts him up to keep going, yet his articles are not well researched. The second journalist who spends more time researching, writing and re-writing isn’t praised immediately, but respected. His article wins awards and propels his career. For a long time now I’ve the first journalist. And I really want to be the second one.

Leo talks about setting yearly goals; one or two instead of the typical 10-20 some of us (me!) set every year. He talks about trimming out excess tasks that aren’t getting you closer to your goals.

How is this related to weight loss?

My goal is better health through weight loss (or weight loss through better health!. It comes in different forms, has been mildly achieved, but still out there waiting for me to arrive. My banner begs to be changed to The Former Token Fat Girl. It’s the line blinking, waiting for me to type.

Just like a job that you show up for every day, a project with deadlines, or paying off debt- weight loss is a goal, a responsibility to myself to show up every day for, same as it were an item on my to-do list. I am just as important as the jewelry I make, the designs that are filed away on my computer and all the future interests I may have. I am more important.

My daily to-do lists make my head spin. They are paralyzing at times. They are unobtainable tasks mocking me from afar. The thing about my life is that I am my work. What I do to make a living is every bit apart of who I am. The ideas never stop. I don’t go home and settle down for the evening and turn off my creativity. When someone asks me to design a logo, if I’m lucky I will start to see how it’s going to look as a flash in my head. Sometimes I wake up with the design ideas in my head waiting for me to execute them. Often it feels like creativity is something I receive from an unknowing source. It just is.

But what I do have control over is how I spend my time and what is worth focusing on. I feel lucky that, for me, it is all intertwined. Being healthy, blogging, creating jewelry, designing…it’s all the same for me. It’s all creative, captivating and interesting. However, I’m at the point where I can’t carry so many torches. No matter how much I’d love to be a caterer, personal chef, interior designer, blogger, fitness guru, graphic design, metal smith, painter, illustrator, florist- all at the same time- I can’t. I have to let go. I have to focus.

I don’t want to mass produce jewelry, cramming in all I can the day before a show. If I only create a couple of pieces a month- pieces that are thought out, well executed and the best craftsmanship that I can produce- I will be happy, if not happier with my production. And with that I have decided to stop selling at markets and shows. I want fewer, high-quality items to represent me. Trimming the fat.

Next, there will be a major overhaul with my stuff. Getting rid of the excess, the unnecessary and unloved. The clutter that prevents the organization—the sanity.

I’m going to focus on less, fewer big goals with lots of small goals contributing to the big ones.

My big goals are:

1) Be healthy/lose weight and document the process here. To make myself a priority.

2) To create fewer, higher-quality pieces of jewelry a year.

3) To grow as a graphic designer.

Of course, I will still dabble for fun, but I’m going to stop trying to turn every interest into a career. I may change course next year and decide that I want to make handbags, or jars of salsa but that’s for me to decide next year.

Phew.

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28 Thoughts

Update: Sorry! Didn’t realize comments were closed. They are now open.

It’s getting close to the 24 hour point since I turned 28. I have no idea what this age means or symbolizes, but I thought I’d just write down some little tidbits of knowledge I’ve gained in my 28 years. Some of them I’m still working on while others I may change my mind about over time.

1. Essentially, most people have goodness in them. Growing up I used to see things black and white. Most kids do. People were either good or evil. What I’ve found and a hard lesson to learn is, is that we are all in this crazy game together. I think the internet allows us to easily hurt each other, but we are all people with feelings and homes and thoughts. Realizing that people are essentially good and seeking out goodness is a helpful perspective to have.

2. Women should support each other. I don’t mean this to sound ra-ra feministy- but, we really need to give each other a break. Accept that we are all changing and morphing. We need to be there for each other. Not judge our outfits, or the size of our waists, or how awesome our lives are in comparison. There is room for all of us to be the best version of ourselves.

3. Expectations are killer. I’ve realized that my biggest conflicts in life stem from having expectations that were beyond reason. Expectations in situations, food, stuff and most importantly people. I expect food to fill me up. I expect an outfit to make appear less fat. I expect that other people can read my mind. I expect all people are on the same page. I expect that an experience will be memorable. None of these things are true. I’m learning to let go of expectations in life.

4. When something negative happens, it’s not always a bad thing. When my first boyfriend broke up with me, or when those random guys didn’t like me enough. I internalized it- I thought it was the end of the world. I tried to change who I was because of it. What I didn’t realize was the amazing person just around the corner who I would end up marrying. Who would love me just as I am. What if I let those negative situations destroy me and what I thought I deserved? I could have settled for less. I was very close to settling for less. A lot of people settle for less because they are beat down by a negative situation. I’m learning that when something doesn’t work out as I had hoped- it’s not the end of the world, in fact, it’s often a hidden blessing.

5. Be picky about who you marry. Don’t marry someone because they are hot, or because it’s comfortable, or because it’s the next step. Marry them because you can’t be without them. Because you always have new things to talk about. Because you’re both on the same page. When you walk down the aisle with someone, don’t marry their potential. Who they might turn into. What life could be like when they change. We won’t always be young, and we won’t always have interesting days. But, the core of who we are rarely changes. Make sure you’re marrying someone on day one that you never want to change.

6. Food and stuff never solved a problem.

7. 30 minutes of dancing can change your outlook on life.

8. Do not live older or younger than your current age.

9. Don’t be afraid to tell the truth. The best line from Mad Men comes from Peggy who says “Always tell the truth, people will respect that.” “Don’t worry about the outcome.”

10. There is satisfaction in creating something with your hands. Making a recipe from scratch, watching the first sprouts from seeds pop up, learning to do something new. I’ve found deep satisfaction and fulfillment from doing things the hard way.

11. Cats are really good friends. They will cuddle with you when you’re sad or sick, they never talk back to you or make fun of you, they never judge you, they will sleep at the end of your bed and keep your feet warm, they will greet you at the door when you get home from work, and they will jump in your lap when you’re trying to do something important.

12. Don’t be ashamed of making money on your own. Sometimes I have felt incredible selfish for not wanting an office job, or unqualified to make money doing something I love doing. I think somewhere along the lines we are told that you can’t be happy with your work. I still struggle with this concept, but I believe that work doesn’t have to be miserable. Charge fairly for the work you do and stand by that, even if you don’t have a boss or a cubicle.

13. Expect more out of your job. Sometimes our expectations are too low. Did you know that the owner of Costco pays every employee at least $16 an hour? That the CEO only takes home roughly $300k (enough he says, to live comfortably on)? He expects more out of his employs and treats them with respect. In turn, his turn-over rate is low and his employees are extremely loyal. Did you know that Google feeds their employees every single day for free? They provide free child care, gym memberships and massages? And very generous vacation packages. These companies are thriving. Where you work is essentially where you live, I believe in having higher expectations.

14. Don’t get stuck in the drama of a every situation.

15. Don’t over analyse the foolish things people say. We’ve all said foolish things and hoped people would forget them.

16. Be kind. Be randomly kind without expectations. Do something nice for a hateful person. Do something nice for a kind person. Put kindness over being right. (This one is so hard for me!)

17. Eat good food. Know what good food is. I’ve some to realize that diet food is punishment. It tastes bad, and it is usually bad for you. I eat olive oil and butter. I eat food that is real and wholesome. I used to think that “eating well” meant eating whatever I wanted with wild abandon. This is not eating well.

18. Write it out. When I don’t understand my feelings, I just open up a fresh word doc. and start typing. I don’t worry about what I say. I don’t feel guilty about what comes out. I just let my thoughts flow out for 5 or 10 minutes. And then I hit delete. Somehow I feel better every time.

19. Exercise can change your life. I’ve been exercising for consistently for the past nine weeks. Something I’ve never done. I’ve found that I need it to cope with life. I am capable of much more than I ever thought. My body can move just like it was intended to. Not perfectly, not fast, not compared to athletes, but slowly, day by day I can move better.

20. Have fun. Have lots of fun. Why not? Having fun is not irresponsible.

21. Wherever you are, be there.

22. Treat everyone like they are already your friend.

23. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for that embarrassing thing you did when you were 12, of for not finishing something, for messing up, for not always knowing the right answers, or what to do. Forgive yourself for not always being graceful in hard situations. Move on.

24. Gratitude is not felt with words. I also deeply realize that you cannot be a victim and grateful at the same time.

25. Celebrate. Make time to celebrate all of the joys in life: birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, babies, graduations, taking the first step, finishing a task, taking a risk. Take time to make something special. Go all out. Go overboard.  Make someone feel incredibly loved.

26. Wear your good clothes on Tuesdays.

27. Set new goals everyday. Check in with your goal from yesterday. Set really big goals and figure out how to make them happen.

28. It’s not settling to love yourself, just as you are, today. If you don’t like what you’re doing, how you’re reacting, what you’re wearing, who you’re with…make note and change it.

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Deserving

I’m entering (or have entered) a new chapter in my life. A chapter that isn’t marked by a graduation, marriage, or child. Instead, it is marked by a change in perspective or enlightenment. To the outside world I probably appear to be the same person I was a few months ago, but to me I feel like I’ve just shed a skin. I’m still me, of course, but now I actually believe I deserve goodness in my life.

I can’t explain it, and honestly I see it all around me, but none of us truly seem to believe we are worth the extra effort. The investment in our lives to make it exactly the way we want it to be. It feels indulgent, and selfish once you’re here; there is the usual fear stuff that pops up. This chapter is scary for me, because it’s new.

What exactly do I mean? I’m taking inventory of my life right now and liking what I see. And not only do I like what I see, but I feel like I deserve what I’ve brought to myself. I don’t mean perfection, I just mean satisfaction. I deserve a healthy body that can move, so I exercise. I wanted to be around creative people, so I sought them out. I wanted a beautiful space, so I created one. I wanted a good marriage, so I chose the right person (it helps that he chose me too). I wanted to feel and share love, so I adopted two kitties and sponsored a child. I want to learn new things, so I read ( a lot). I want to connect, so I reach out. I want to explore, so I travel. I want to eat good food, so I cook. I want to express myself, so I blog.

All of these actions bring me to the space I want to be in. The space I never really believed I deserved. I look at all of these little things and think “how did I get so lucky?” and realize that it’s not just luck, it’s intention. And sometimes all of these intentional actions make me feel like an alien in a world of people who do not see themselves, or me, as deserving. But we are. And I am. Even though I’m sometimes scared to admit it.

There is a lot of guilt that comes from living your life to the fullest (whatever that means), especially when there is so much suffering in the world. Should we not dress well because many people cannot? Should we not make our space as beautiful as possible? Should we not exercise our bodies because some people are not able? Should we not eat the best food possible because others are starving?

I think about these things a lot. And I’ve come to realize (for now anyway) that to not be the best version of myself, to deny opportunities, to not exercise the body that can move- would be a disservice to myself. If I am presented a door and choose to not open it, no one benefits.

I believe that when I fully take advantage of my gifts (and believe I deserve to) not only do I improve my life, but those around me. I cannot help anyone if I don’t believe I’m deserving of goodness.

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