I’ve been keeping all of my oh so interested food posts over at www.myfitnesspal.com username: lorriebee. If you’re at all interested in what I’m eating. I’ve got loads of food photos to share with you, but first I want to share some random thoughts I’ve been having lately.
I’m a ponderer, I wonder about things, it’s just my nature. And today I’m thinking about this: what if I never lost a pound again- would I change my actions?
Lately I’ve noticed a few conversations with people around that fact that they assume eating a healthy diet and exercise is only out of the pursuit of weight loss. I can’t help but feel that this is entirely short sighted. Granted, when I started out on this journey a long time ago I was pretty ignorant about food. I was raised in the low-fat era of diet sodas, fat free dressing, and Snack Wells cookies. I never gave a moments thought to the pop-tarts, chips, Little Debbie cakes that I was consuming.
If it was in a package it was okay to eat. I never questioned ingredients, food sources, chemicals or unethical practices. But that was then and now after many years of yo-yo dieting, reading, watching and consuming all things health and nutrition I think I have a pretty good handle on what is sensible eating for me. Of course, it’s not perfect- it never will be. But, I know about meat, I know about processed foods and I know that most items in the grocery store are only pretending to be something they aren’t…food.
My quest for thin got me here. I don’t know if I’d ever arrive to caring that diet soda is not the solution to a diet full of fat and sugar. Or that meat has been injected and filled. Or that the innocent vegetable has been manipulated to be bigger, shinier and will hold up longer in the fridge. My fat opened my eyes to the world of better eating.
So sometimes I get frustrated when folks assume that I’m drinking juices in the morning just to lose weight. Or that sometimes I say “no thanks” to dessert, processed snacks or questionable meat because I’m trying…yet again…to lose weight.
The truth is, I want to do this. Not just because I have 150 pounds to lose, but because it feels better than the alternative. As if, weighing less would give me license to eat anything and everything without a moments thought.
The source of my knowledge and motivation is weight loss. For a hundred or so reasons. This is true. But, it’s not all based on weight loss.
I’ve come to realize that this slow shift in my mentality has opened the doors for real, lasting success. Because I understand that the way I’m eating now isn’t something I stop doing when I lose weight. I feel good when I drink raw vegetable juice, eat salmon, salads, smoothies, oatmeal, and whole grains. I feel better about myself and my life. It makes me hopeful and inspired to be a better person. My work improves, my skin gets clearer and I’m a more pleasant person to be around.
So right now, today, my “plan” is to be good to myself. This involves exercise, not because it could and probably will make my ass smaller, but because I feel like a better human being. I’m eating less meat right now, not because of a fad diet, but because I feel better. Does that mean I won’t eat meat this weekend at the wedding? No. Does that mean I will never have the occasional steak? Like hell. I’m getting up and making making juice because it’s a good thing to for me to do. I’m exclusively eating whole grains unless it’s not an option (and when it’s not I don’t feel bad about the white rice or bread). I’m eating nuts or fruit for snacks because it doesn’t weigh me down. I’m finding new ways to enjoy dessert and my favorite foods. And to top it all off, to make it count, so I know I’m doing what I need to do to lose weight: I’m counting calories. Everything else is up to me.
I’m finally understanding “lifestyle change”. It doesn’t mean that one meal at chik-fil-a is a bad thing, it doesn’t mean that healthy food can’t be delicious (it really is!), and it certainly doesn’t have to be the painful, hopeless, sacrifice that I’ve wanted to believe it is. The myth that made me believe for so long that I couldn’t do it without a pill, surgery or the latest top-selling diet book.
This is no longer punishment. This isn’t perfection. This isn’t 30 pounds in 30 days. This isn’t a raw food only diet. This isn’t no carb, low fat, low calories. Not vegan or vegetarian. Not the cabbage soup, rotation, or delivery meal systems. This isn’t diet food. This isn’t about the “last meal” or the “I will start over tomorrow”. This isn’t what I’m eating just to lose weight. This is me being okay with the occasional treat, the occasional indulgent meal because if I’m consistent 80% of the time, everything will be okay. This is about being guilt-free about food. Guilt only causes pain which leads to binging for me.
Today I am still obese. I’m not an impressive weight-loss success story. The process is never impressive. The mental shift, the work, the never going to give up attitude, the reading, the studying, the learning wasn’t a loss or failure. If I don’t lose a pound on the scale tomorrow morning, I’m still going to drink my juice, eat delicious real food and move as much as possible.
So do me a favor. The next time you see someone eating a salad or saying “no thank you” to dessert don’t assume it’s just because they are “being a good dieter” and on the same note, if you see someone eating a cupcake or enjoying a nice burger and fries, don’t assume they’re “off the wagon”. Being healthy isn’t about black and white eating or never consuming refined carbs again. It took me a long time, but I’m so glad I finally realize this.
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