Tag: Long Time

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General Weight Loss Tips

Trimming the Fat

I’ve been reading so many books lately that are rocking my world and changing my perspective. I would like to consider myself someone who is open (yet reluctant at times) to evolving my opinion and changing what I’m doing. Sometimes I worry that people see it as flighty and at times it can be, but I like to be aware of what behaviors are and are not working for me. If something doesn’t feel right I either try to change it, or change the way I look at it.

What book am I speaking of?

If you read nothing else this summer, please read this one. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my. I’m only a few pages in and I’m seeing the changes ahead of me. At first glance I thought this book was going to be about living on less, buying less and being a better consumer. And while it does touch on those subjects, Leo talks a lot about doing less. I could not have read this at a better time.

Lately (as you will notice from my lack of blog posting) that I’ve been a wee bit busy. We’re all busy right? Well, I’ve been piling things on. Saying yes when I should say no, getting less sleep, constantly trying to catch-up with my work and just trying to stay above water. All the while hoping that it would all take me to a place of productivity, more money and more freedom. I was wrong. I goodness I was wrong.

You remember my cough from a few weeks ago? I’m still coughing. I feel better, and the cough is less, but I’m still coughing. And the work that I am getting done feels rushed- a feeling that I’m truly not comfortable with.

In The Power of Less Leo compares two journalists. One who writes thirty articles a week compared to the one who writes only one a week. The first journalist gets praise from his editor for his productivity which boosts him up to keep going, yet his articles are not well researched. The second journalist who spends more time researching, writing and re-writing isn’t praised immediately, but respected. His article wins awards and propels his career. For a long time now I’ve the first journalist. And I really want to be the second one.

Leo talks about setting yearly goals; one or two instead of the typical 10-20 some of us (me!) set every year. He talks about trimming out excess tasks that aren’t getting you closer to your goals.

How is this related to weight loss?

My goal is better health through weight loss (or weight loss through better health!. It comes in different forms, has been mildly achieved, but still out there waiting for me to arrive. My banner begs to be changed to The Former Token Fat Girl. It’s the line blinking, waiting for me to type.

Just like a job that you show up for every day, a project with deadlines, or paying off debt- weight loss is a goal, a responsibility to myself to show up every day for, same as it were an item on my to-do list. I am just as important as the jewelry I make, the designs that are filed away on my computer and all the future interests I may have. I am more important.

My daily to-do lists make my head spin. They are paralyzing at times. They are unobtainable tasks mocking me from afar. The thing about my life is that I am my work. What I do to make a living is every bit apart of who I am. The ideas never stop. I don’t go home and settle down for the evening and turn off my creativity. When someone asks me to design a logo, if I’m lucky I will start to see how it’s going to look as a flash in my head. Sometimes I wake up with the design ideas in my head waiting for me to execute them. Often it feels like creativity is something I receive from an unknowing source. It just is.

But what I do have control over is how I spend my time and what is worth focusing on. I feel lucky that, for me, it is all intertwined. Being healthy, blogging, creating jewelry, designing…it’s all the same for me. It’s all creative, captivating and interesting. However, I’m at the point where I can’t carry so many torches. No matter how much I’d love to be a caterer, personal chef, interior designer, blogger, fitness guru, graphic design, metal smith, painter, illustrator, florist- all at the same time- I can’t. I have to let go. I have to focus.

I don’t want to mass produce jewelry, cramming in all I can the day before a show. If I only create a couple of pieces a month- pieces that are thought out, well executed and the best craftsmanship that I can produce- I will be happy, if not happier with my production. And with that I have decided to stop selling at markets and shows. I want fewer, high-quality items to represent me. Trimming the fat.

Next, there will be a major overhaul with my stuff. Getting rid of the excess, the unnecessary and unloved. The clutter that prevents the organization—the sanity.

I’m going to focus on less, fewer big goals with lots of small goals contributing to the big ones.

My big goals are:

1) Be healthy/lose weight and document the process here. To make myself a priority.

2) To create fewer, higher-quality pieces of jewelry a year.

3) To grow as a graphic designer.

Of course, I will still dabble for fun, but I’m going to stop trying to turn every interest into a career. I may change course next year and decide that I want to make handbags, or jars of salsa but that’s for me to decide next year.

Phew.

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General Weight Loss Tips

What I Really Want

You know what? Getting old is weird. Weird and confusing. I’d go as far to say that 28 is even more confusing than 18, if not more. At 18 I knew where I was headed: college. I knew what I wanted: to have a good time, to find a boyfriend, to hang out with my friends, to learn something new.

If someone had asked me when I was 18, what I thought 28 would look like, I’m not sure this would be it. And that’s not a bad thing. Really, I’m pleased as punch with where I’ve landed. I never would have seen Josh coming. A real living and breathing boyfriend. And a husband? What?  Or some time spent in a big city. Or even happiness and dare I say contenment in a smaller town than the one I grew up in.

I thought I’d be thin by now. I thought I might have a child or a fancy-pants-high-paying job.

But now, at 28 there aren’t clear-cut paths. There are so many unknowns, second-guesses and doubts that my head starts to spin the second my feet hit the ground in the morning. What will today be? Who will I be tomorrow? What will I look like in five years? Every single decision, step, choice is up to me. I never realized that at 18. I never realized that I was the deciding factor. I am the player in my own life.

At 28 I realize that my life is continually about self-improvement. And that’s where, mentally, I’ve been lately. Some days it’s hard for me to tell the difference between…am I crazy? wrong? right? justified? Or is it everyone else? Am I headed in the right direction?  Am I stuck? I’m always evaluated my last steps and planning for the next ones to come.

And I’ve come to finally realize that the big neon letters flashing in my background read: self-esteem. And my bank of self-esteem is low and is has been for a long time. I am understanding that my inner-critic makes life, decisions, relationships, conversations and pretty much everything much more complicated and difficult than it really is. I feel pain on a daily basis. Sometimes I can move forward and go along with the crowd pretending the voice inside me isn’t bringing me down.

The voice, my voice, tells me that I don’t deserve goodness. That I don’t deserve the effort. That I’m flawed. That I make too many mistakes. That I’ll fail again. That I won’t do it perfectly. And if you’ve been here, even for a little while, you’ll know how paralyzing it is. How much effort goes into defense and protection. How often I work to keep people away so they can’t hurt me. How fragile I really am.

And it’s all related. My issues with food and my self-worth go hand in hand. And I’m doing the work. I count my calories, I exercise and good things are happening. But, the elephant in the room is: this won’t last until I seriously work on my insides. Unless I love myself and trust myself. I have a lot of work to do in clearing out the voices, the doubt, the worry and every thought that tells me: you can’t do it.

Because I know, logically, I can. And I will. I just need to feel good enough to believe it. To silence the voice that tells me otherwise. A piece that fears feeling like I’m enough, isn’t going to be enough. There is a lot of love out there for me, I just have to let it in.

I started doing Jillian Michael’s Ripped in 30 and I couldn’t help but stare at the three women in the video (including Jillian, of course) and see bodies that were cared for. Strong, muscular, lean, fit women were staring back at me. And I wanted that. I admitted to wanting what they have. The self love and dedication that they each have for themselves (unapologetically) to feel and look the way they do. The pride they take in their bodies inspired me.

Looking like that does not have to come from self-hate or trying to live up to certain unattainable standards. I always thought it did. But, I’ve cleared out those thoughts enough to realize that it would be very hard to get to that point with negative self-talk. This isn’t about deprivation, thinness from starvation, or skipping meals, it’s about fitness and health. And I can see the difference now.

I can admit now to wanting that for myself. I do really want that. There is a part of me that fears that I will never look like that, and you know what? I won’t. But being fat and fearing never having a perfect body is no reason not to give myself the chance. To show up and give myself the opportunity for health and confidence. It would mean the world times a thousand to get to that point and to help other women just like me do the same. That’s what I really, truly, deep down want.

I save photos of women working out because it inspires me. I clip quotes and read them because they motivate me. I don’t want to be ashamed of this anymore. I don’t want to worry that others will think I’m (dare I say) shallow because I want to be physically fit and feel attractive. To be considered, hot even.

I want to bring that part of me here. The part that shares my inspiration, and is not ashamed to say: damnit, I’m doing this, either get on board or not. But mostly loving myself enough to actually make it happen.

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Weight Loss Exercise

Portion Control Tips

Portion Control Tips

Portion Control Tips

This post of portion Control tips is a long time coming and I hope it helps me as much as it helps you.

Damn,  tonight I overate…again.

Once every two weeks my family and I go out for dinner. We were finding that we were going out too often so we decided to only og out once every couple of weeks to eat better (restaurant and fast food tend to be bad) and to save money. One side effect is that we have complete control over what we eat.

Well tonight I blew it.

We went out for Vietnamese food and as always we order a few plates for all of use to share. I sure wish I would have written these portion control tips before I went out. I out did myself and ate twice what I should have.

I tend to graze throughout the day and my major meals of breakfast, lunch and dinner are fairly small but when I get to a buffet or get a chance to share food I do not share very well. My portion control without fixed portions is tough. I never really portion like my wife does, no measuring cups or anything but without a plate to gauge myself by I tend to be terrible.

Here are 5 Portion Control Tips

1. Drink 1 large cup of water 30 minutes before you meal – The water will fill your stomach a little and start you thinking about the size of your stomach.

2. Dish up all food at once – The problem with how I ate today or any buffet style meal is that you do not know how much you are eating. 1 plate for 1 meal will make you know what you are eating without getting distraction.

3. Eat slowly and concentrate on all the fork or spoonfuls of food – We are supposed to enjoy our meals but I know that when I watch my kids or even myself I will catch us not enjoying but instead racing through eating a meal. Food is not to be sprinted through but enjoyed. Take your time, enjoy it with you and your family.

4. Eat only until you are satisfied – Know when to stop. Having that water before and eating slowly will help you understand how much food you need and to stop on time. No reason to eat to much.

5. Remember that this is not your last meal – Enough said. You can eat again in a few hours.

I am hoping that these portion control tips will help you. None of them are very inspired or earth shattering but as 5 tips go they are great to help you to eat better, enjoy your food and never have an excuse to overeat.

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