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General Weight Loss Tips

Blogging, Spinach and Discovery

I’m embarking on a new journey of self-discovery.  I know this because my thoughts and wants are more clear, yet I’m having a hard time articulating it.

I’ve been asking myself lately: why do I blog? why will I continue to blog? what can i share? what will i get out of it?

This has been the longest project of my life. I started not knowing where I would arrive and five years later I’m still not sure. The only thing that I keep coming back to is to inspire. I don’t even know what that means, but I share because I know I’m not alone. I share because I may say something that might help someone else. I know it’s a big thing to believe about myself, but at the end of the day, I write because my words inspire me. I’m able to see who I am through my writing.

I don’t plan my posts. Which I’ve heard is a blogger mistake. But, I write what I feel, and along this journey I’ve gotten lost in that desire. I’ve seen other bloggers doing things that I wish I could do. I’ve seen them count, track, photograph and document every inch of their lives. I’ve wanted so bad to be other bloggers, that at times, I’ve forgotten who I am and why I’m here.

So there’s a lesson in that. To follow who you are, to follow your gut and not to punish yourself for not being like everyone else.  Because the world needs more people becoming and embracing who they are. There is someone, if not just myself, who needs me to be here just as I am. Saying what I need to say. And so in this realization, I want to continue to share whats important to me, regardless of the content. At the heart of this blog, I’m trying to live a healthier life. But, for me, this is not an isolated action. Being healthy is not just important for my body, it’s important for my relationships, my career and my belief in who I am. My life is about making things happen.

When I eat too much, I get depressed and my work suffers. When I eat well, I am productive and clear.

In all of this, I want to blog more about my process and my journey, regardless of what that looks like.  My journey isn’t just about following blogging tips and tricks, it’s about sharing where I’m headed. Where I want to be and what I know to be true.

So here’s the thing. I’ve completely stopped dieting. A concept I’ve tried before and got too scared. And I want to share this, but sometimes it doesn’t look like it should. It’s not ideal, but, it’s wonderful and eye opening. I’ve been “un-dieting” for several weeks now. I’ve purchased “taboo” foods at the store. Food that is just sugar and comes in wrappers. I’ve openly eaten what I desire in public, in front of my husband and for the world to see. I’ve stopped hiding food. I’ve stopped feeling guilt over food, mentally calculating calories, tracking, and measuring. Punishing myself for not making ideal choices. I’m trusting myself around food. I’ve never trusted myself around food. I’m celebrating that I can live with triggers in my life. That I can have candy in the house and not eat it for breakfast.

I’ve been actively stripping away all guilt around food. Removing the notion of good food or bad food and just being. I’m bridging the gap between unhealthy lorrie and healthy lorrie: they are the same. My choices are not isolated.  Healthy lorrie is just as present and open and ready as binge-eating lorrie. Healthy lorrie  is not a future goal she is who I am, all the time, every single day. Unhealthy, binge eating lorrie has her place too. I wish I knew how to articulate it, but I’ve become okay with the outcome. I’m trusting that I will get there, if I’m open. There have been days when I’ve done exactly what I feared: I ate too much. I turned to food when I stopped trusting myself. But, I embraced the action, and realized it was a choice. I am owning it.

Before, I treated these actions as though they were not a part of me. Habits are choices that I make everyday. It’s a big deal, to trust that I can stop. That eventually I will stop on my own and make another choice. I am making better decisions on my own because they are not future parts of my life. They are now. They reflect what I want and where I’m headed.

Un-dieting is not without goals, I have them, but they are different. This week, my goal is to eat fresh, raw vegetables as much as possible. I purchased a huge container of organic spinach and kale, lots of squash, apples, oranges, and bananas. My goal is to eat it all this week. To eat them first, not because I feel like I have to, but because I genuinely want to.  I like how I feel when I eat well, I need to feel good to complete all my goals. Not just the ones that result in a lower weight on the scale.

It’s been huge for me to let go of worry and possible outcomes. I’ve let go of the fear of the unknown. The fear of eating until I weigh 400 pounds. The fear of never stopping. The fear that I can’t control what I eat without a regulated system. I trust that I will stop and that I know how to hear what I really want and need. There are days when I shock myself with how soon I stop eating. And it doesn’t happen because I think “I should stop”, or “how many calories am I at now?” it just happens because I’m done.

I had a glimpse of myself recently. A glimpse of where I’m headed and it’s incredibly beautiful.

 

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My Potential Excites Me

September marks the beginning of my favorite season of the year, Fall! I love you Fall, we’re good friends. I cannot for the life of me enter Fall without thinking of school supplies, apples, pumpkins, hay rides and craft festivals. And though it’s not technically Fall, the chilly mornings in Floyd remind me that it’s just around the corner. I have a strong desire to throw on a hoodie with flip flops and enjoy a cup of coffee outside. It’s gonna happen.

So goals. I was talking to my lady friends Krissie and Miranda via email yesterday and said something that I wanted to share here. A big something that has been bothering me and as soon as I wrote it, I felt better and realized that wow, I am really way too hard on myself.

“I would like to be more zen about my blogging process and not worry so much about negativity or advice that comes my way when I blog for me. I have thin skin, it’s bad. I care too much. And when I do go back and reread, I cringe. I cringe about failed challenges, promises and goals. I cringe that I continue to put myself out there and fall short. I cringe that people read what I write. My poor writing skills, my inability to stick with anything. It often feels like blogging puts a big flashlight on everything I do wrong in my life. I wanted to do a september goals post, but I’m so paralyzed about the public display of goals and failed attempts that it just makes me too sad to continue putting myself out there.”

And for reasons that I will never talk about in this space, I know exactly why I keep feeling this way. Inadequate. I lead my life like I’m not good enough because for many reasons, deep down, as good as I try to be, I don’t feel good enough. And honestly, if this doesn’t make trying to change your life and take care of yourself that much harder, I don’t know what is.

This is heavy stuff and I don’t put it out in the world because I want people to tell me that I’m awesome. My husband, friends and family reassure me that I’m doing good things. For the duration of my life I’ve been yearning for other people to validate me, to make me feel worthy. And let me tell you, if you’re waiting for the world to make you feel good about youself, you’re going to be waiting for a very long time. Stacked up against every other person in the world, you will never be enough. But for you, you can be everything. I speak in “yous” often, but what I mean is “me”. I’m telling this to myself because it’s blaringly obvious to everyone else, words that I hear often: you’re to hard on yourself. Yes, I know.

And even as I type this. I hear the voice in my head talking in a very stern voice. You aren’t good enough. If you ever accept yourself you will never change. People think you’re stupid. No one respects you. Why aren’t you doing better? You have to feel bad about yourself to do anything right. And it’s all bullshit. Because I dare anyone who reads this to tell me it didn’t take them years before they were success with weight loss, their career or whatever it is that they’re trying to be good at. Or I dare anyone who reads this to tell me that they haven’t made the same goal many times before it clicked. Or anyone to fail at something all the time. I fail constantly at trying to lose weight. But, my goodness it so does not have to define me. I choose to put myself here, I continue to make goals, because it gets me up in the morning. My potential excites me. I have strong hope, despite the negative voice in my head, that I can do whatever it is that I seek out to do. It may not look like it should, the path is bumpy and unreliable, but that doesn’t mean much. I’m not just a fat person. I’m not just a person who battles with the insane desire to eat until I’m sick. This isn’t all that I am.

Lawsy, that was a lot. I’m answering my own questions in these lengthy posts. The more that I write the more I resolve what it is that I’m seeking. And I know at the heart of it, this is why I continue to write here. Why I share even when it’s embarrassing to admit that I didn’t follow through, yet again, because oh my lord, do you guys really care? Do you care that I’m still here? Do you care that I make goals and meet a fourth of them, do you think I’m a failure? And if you do, should it really matter to me?

Should I care if you think it was crazy to start Paleo? Or crazy to said I wouldn’t eat sugar for a whole year and then six months later eat ice cream over the weekend with my husband? Or not worth continuing to make goals because I didn’t always get to the place I was headed? I’m writing this to myself now: I am worth every single goal I set for myself. I am worth the hope of being better every single day. And more importantly I’m worth the effort. Being healthy is the ultimate goal, and I so deserve the outcome.

It’s funny, when I started this public journey almost five (five!!) years ago, I thought it would be simple. I thought I would plug in my points, go to the meetings, and blog my experience. I lost 50 pounds in NYC, but I was walking all the freakin’ time. Weight loss was how I got around in New York, on my own two feet. And while there is no doubt a lesson in that, I’ve come to realize that I’ve been avoiding the elephant in the room: Dealing with my head first. I can start a million programs or exercise regimens, and while on their own, when successful may boost my self-worth, I have to decide first that I’m worth the effort. That has never been my goal. I’ve wanted to lose weight because I was teased, because some members of my family have/had issue with my weight, because I don’t feel respected because of my weight, because I worry what others thing, because I want my husband to be proud, because I want to show everyone else that I’m worth their time. If I don’t believe I’m worth the work, then even at 130 pounds, not many people will believe it either.

And nine paragraphs later. I’m ready to make some goals for September. Some are big, some are small and I’m okay with not being perfect. These are goals based on habits and activities that make me feel good about myself.

1) Keep a private journal. Writing is my therapy (can you tell?), it helps me to process information and sort through my feelings. It makes me feel lighter.

2) Cook more. I have so many saved recipes that I want to make. My diet is wide open now. There are no off limit foods anymore. I want to explore everything this month. I want to be in my kitchen every single day trying something new. I want to feed my husband and myself really good food. Life changing food.

3) Keep a food journal. Nothing helps me more than keeping a food journal. Especially when I’m actually doing it. I love going back to see what I was eating. I love challenging myself with questions of “am I really hungry?” , “do I really want this?” As always, you can follow me on Myfitnesspal, I’m Lorriebee.

4) Create an exercise schedule with Josh. We’re working on a calendar this month, I will share when it’s done.

5) Believe in myself and surround myself with inspiring thoughts.

 

 

 

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Weight Loss Exercise

What Can You Do About Those Wrinkles?



Wrinkles? it’s like a four letter word to most people. It’s a sign of aging and we all get them eventually. But why, for some people, do the wrinkles come so much later in life? And why do others get wrinkles way before you think they should? This article will take a look at what can cause wrinkles and what you can do, if anything, about them.

Wrinkles are the result of reduced collagen production. A majority of your connective tissue is made up of collagen and it’s responsible for the elasticity of your skin. When you don’t produce as much collagen, you end up with wrinkles.

It’s true that as we age we naturally produce less collagen. So no matter what, you will end up with wrinkled skin. The key is to make that date far into the future, not now.

Don’t smoke.
This is huge. Have you ever compared the faces of smokers to non-smokers. I’m sure you noticed which group had more wrinkles. Not only will stopping smoking help you to live longer it will help you to live longer with fewer wrinkles.



Stay out of the sun.
Too much sun over the years adds what looks like years to your face and the rest of your skin. Don’t be one of those darkly tanned, leathery-skinned people who move south after retirement and still worship the sun, in-between visits to their dermatologist. Sun worshipping is no longer cool. At the very least use sunscreen! I would also add that you should wear sunglasses outside to avoid squinting. Prolonged squinting brings out the wrinkles around the eyes and the forehead.

Live where there is less pollution and wind.
Wind can take it’s toll on your skin and so can smog and other air contaminants. Of course, it’s not practical to up and move, but if you have the opportunity to pick where you live, keep these factors in mind.

Avoid harsh chemicals and really hot water.
Hot water zaps the moisture out of your skin. Harsh chemicals in soaps and face cleaners can do the same thing. Know your ingredients and what those ingredients can do. Bottom line – if your skin doesn’t feel and look good after you clean it, change your cleaner.

Relax and enjoy life.
While I don’t have concrete proof on this one, I do believe if you can learn to relax and enjoy your life, your skin will reflect this. If you worry constantly and always have a negative attitude, imagine how this can make your face look after awhile.

Antioxidants and healthy eating.
Eating food rich in antioxidants such as tomatoes, blueberries, and green tea is beneficial to your health, and if you add antioxidant creams to your skin, all the better.

Use vitamin A.
Again on the subject of creams, use one that contains Vitamin A, also known as Retinol. Vitamin A helps keep your skin moist and it also has some antioxidant properties.

As you can see, there are many positive steps you can take to hold off those wrinkles a little longer. Some of these are lifestyle choices, such as not smoking, living in a clean air environment, and enjoying life. Throw in sunscreen, Vitamin A and antioxidants as well and your skin should look it’s best.


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