– Maneesh Venkatesh
Of late, you can find people signed on to one or more dating apps. Whether it be actual interest, casual flings or just plain boredom, people are busy swiping. But a closer look at the dating app life reveals the darker side to it. Harikrupa Krishnan, 21, says, “While using dating apps, you only really look at the pictures. The two- to three-lined bio that accompanies one’s profile picture does not give you much information. So basically, if you flip the situation, you’re openly getting rejected by someone for the way you look, and it affects your confidence and self- esteem in ways you never thought possible.”
Rejection affects self esteem
Psychiatrist Dr Vikram Prabhu says, “Dating apps themselves do not cause depression, rather it is the individual’s level of vulnerability that causes depression. The anxiety that people feel because of these dating apps can lead to depression.’’ He explains that different expectations usually create feelings of sadness and rejection. “People usually go on to these online relationships with different expectations, and are let down and disappointed with how it turns out. It is about how an individual is able to cope with the disappointment that sets in, which may make them vulnerable to depression,” explains Dr Prabhu.
Of how the younger generation uses dating apps, Harikrupa adds, “My generation thinks dating apps are the only way to get physical with someone — so, when someone looks for something serious, they may not always find it.”
Dealing with rejection
“One must try to begin to deal with rejection and depression by first building resilience. Life has its ups and downs, and we should be able to deal with both with some level of maturity. You must remember that this is a situational rejection and not a rejection of you as a person. We should accept the present and be optimistic about the future,” advises Dr Prabhu.
Susheel Varma [name changed], 19, adds that we should look on the brighter side, “Dating apps can be a sinkhole of self-pity, but I think we need to be reminded that there’s much more to a person than what an app can convey.”
Dr Prabhu leaves us with the important step of seeking out help if one is unable to adequately deal with anxiety and depression, “If you have tried ways to calm down and feel happier, but still feel that things are not looking good, please seek professional help. Personal well-being should be of utmost importance.”
Tips to manage anxiety
Take deep breaths, count slowly from one to five, while inhaling and exhaling
Write down your thoughts and feelings. Visualising them can help manage them
Take a walk and focus on the details of the things you see around you. Getting your mind temporarily off what is troubling you can help ease tension and anxiety