I’ve been thinking a lot lately about energy. Stuff, items, people in my life that give energy and those that take energy. Exercise gives me energy, TV takes energy. Fresh home cooked food gives energy, processed foods take it away. Folks with a sense of humor and an easy smile give energy, those with excess drama take it. Having clutter takes energy, organized spaces gives energy. I want to bring energy into my life, and give it out too.
In the past couple of years I’ve really pushed myself to grow as a person. Pushing myself to put kindness first. To be vulnerable in friendships and relationships. To be the first one to smile or offer help. I’ve stopped waiting for other people to be the better person. And by doing this, my energy has lifted. I’m still not perfect at this, because it’s truly a challenge.
Being better everyday takes a lot of energy. To be the person I know I can be- takes lots and lots of energy. And I wasn’t sure until now that I was up for the challenge. Some days I still don’t think I am.
Being a healthy person inside and out takes a lot of work. It’s work to take care of myself when I’d rather sit and work for hours (forgetting to eat, drink or even pee). It takes energy to show up and be there for myself- to exercise, to make an alternative food choice, to eat less. To show up and not tune everything out is hard. To shut down when stress steps in, or when things aren’t going my way.
When I don’t take care of myself I want to zone out with bad food and TV. I’ve seen this pattern over and over in my life. Escaping when I stop nourishing my body and mind.
I say part of this to say that when Miranda mentioned giving up TV for Lent I jumped on board. What in the world would I do instead of watch TV? Probably lots of good, energy giving activities. Maybe I will just sit outside and stare out. Maybe I will learn to sew myself a skirt. Maybe I will write a kind letter to a friend. I want to get energy and give it back by not watching TV. Watching TV doesn’t nourish my soul or give me energy in the ways I always hope it will.
So instead of giving it up just for Lent; I just need this now. I’m giving it up for two months starting today. The only exception, of course, will be in case of an emergency and exercise DVDs. No more jeopary, marathon episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, or my beloved PBS specials about things like wolverines. I’m kind of excited, and kind of scared.
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