New Chapter – Weight Loss Diet Solutions

I have to tell you the first word that comes to mind with this blog post is “shewweeee!” and it’s not even a real word, but it describes my life at the moment. I’m in the place right before a new chapter is about to unfold. The exciting, scary, gray area when you’re sure something fantastic is about to unfold, but you’re not even sure it’s real yet. I keep pinching myself.

Tomorrow is the first day with my new business partner/program manager. She has been a creative friend for well over a year now. We first bonded over making and selling jewelry and now we’re merging our talents. When I met her I knew we would one day work together. I didn’t know how or why, but it was a feeling that collaboration was inevitable. She will be working with me on design projects and a combined project 17 hours a week in my home office. Did I mentioned that she is a yoga instructor and a massage therapist on the side too?

I say all of this to say that a dream of mine is coming to life. I knew that I would eventually get to this point, these were thoughts that I put out in the universe many years ago. Probably while watching an episode of Designing Women, I’m sure of it. I wanted to own a business and work collaboratively with other creative women with lots of positive energy. I didn’t know the details, but I knew it was something I felt passionately about.

Tomorrow I will be able to say that I am a fully insured business owner with a project manager who works with me part-time. It’s insane. Truly crazy.

I believe in putting thoughts/dreams and goals into writing. I’ve been writing this goal every year since I was in my early 20’s. It didn’t happen over night and I had many experiences that lead me to this very beginning stage. It makes me believe that I’m slowly getting to a better place emotionally and physically. I trust that I’ll not always weigh close to 300 pounds. Just like I knew that I would some day own a business.

It’s not that I put these thoughts out in the universe, as I call it, without the work to get here, but it helped that I always believed I would bring myself to this path. All of the days, months and years of experience were leading up to this point. This is how I choose to look at my weight loss efforts. I know, and truly believe that one day I will wake up at a weight that is comfortable and healthy for my body. I know there will be a day when I step on a plane without anxiety of fitting in the seat or a day when I can be adventurous without worry of my weight.

When I was 15 years old I knew I would some day live in NYC. I didn’t know how I would get there or what I would do when I arrived, but I knew it was going to happen. And it did. Three years later, when I was 18, I met Josh on his way to the big apple. I also knew on that day ten years ago that I would one day marry him. I didn’t know how it would happen and I surely would not have expected all of the events that would unfold to get to this point, but I knew deep down that he would be my husband and it would be one of the best decisions I’d make.

So is there power in knowing? I can’t say for sure, but one day my next chapter will be that of a business owner who lost 150 pounds. I don’t just believe it, I know it.

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I’m entering (or have entered) a new chapter in my life. A chapter that isn’t marked by a graduation, marriage, or child. Instead, it is marked by a change in perspective or enlightenment. To the outside world I probably appear to be the same person I was a few months ago, but to me I feel like I’ve just shed a skin. I’m still me, of course, but now I actually believe I deserve goodness in my life.

I can’t explain it, and honestly I see it all around me, but none of us truly seem to believe we are worth the extra effort. The investment in our lives to make it exactly the way we want it to be. It feels indulgent, and selfish once you’re here; there is the usual fear stuff that pops up. This chapter is scary for me, because it’s new.

What exactly do I mean? I’m taking inventory of my life right now and liking what I see. And not only do I like what I see, but I feel like I deserve what I’ve brought to myself. I don’t mean perfection, I just mean satisfaction. I deserve a healthy body that can move, so I exercise. I wanted to be around creative people, so I sought them out. I wanted a beautiful space, so I created one. I wanted a good marriage, so I chose the right person (it helps that he chose me too). I wanted to feel and share love, so I adopted two kitties and sponsored a child. I want to learn new things, so I read ( a lot). I want to connect, so I reach out. I want to explore, so I travel. I want to eat good food, so I cook. I want to express myself, so I blog.

All of these actions bring me to the space I want to be in. The space I never really believed I deserved. I look at all of these little things and think “how did I get so lucky?” and realize that it’s not just luck, it’s intention. And sometimes all of these intentional actions make me feel like an alien in a world of people who do not see themselves, or me, as deserving. But we are. And I am. Even though I’m sometimes scared to admit it.

There is a lot of guilt that comes from living your life to the fullest (whatever that means), especially when there is so much suffering in the world. Should we not dress well because many people cannot? Should we not make our space as beautiful as possible? Should we not exercise our bodies because some people are not able? Should we not eat the best food possible because others are starving?

I think about these things a lot. And I’ve come to realize (for now anyway) that to not be the best version of myself, to deny opportunities, to not exercise the body that can move- would be a disservice to myself. If I am presented a door and choose to not open it, no one benefits.

I believe that when I fully take advantage of my gifts (and believe I deserve to) not only do I improve my life, but those around me. I cannot help anyone if I don’t believe I’m deserving of goodness.

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