Do you ever wonder if who you are is directly related to your size? What if I went through high school as the skinny cheerleader or the girl who actually had a prom date? I was told awhile ago that the reason why I’m so “interesting” is because of my weight. I say interesting lightly because I can think of so many people who are way more interesting and informed than me. I would call myself…interested more than anything else.
I’m curious, I love to learn, I’m passionate, and I’m excited. Mostly. But, I surely wasn’t like this in highschool. I was like most girls- obsessed with boys (a borderline stalker), and crying about drama with friends. I watched every episode of Dawson’s Creek and loved driving in the car (music up, windows down) with my friends. I have all the notes to prove it. I wasn’t academic, I wasn’t into sports, I wasn’t artistic, I was pretty much average across the board. I’ve always had a creative streak, and the desire to learn everything, but as I grew up those desires were slightly burned out with the desire to fit in.
But then I went to college and realized it was better to be unique and interesting than to be like everyone else. Wanting to fit in, slowly became a thing I left in high school. My dreams became bigger, and my desire to learn and try something new grew. I did a lot in college, I found my way in nyc (by way of my now-husband) and I have interesting friends. I’m comfortable with who I am now more than any other time in my life, but I realized that I’m not comfortable accepting that I am who I am because of my weight. I’m not okay with discrediting who I’ve become with my weight.
I am who I am because I listen to my heart. I listen to my instincts. Because I trust my path. It’s not because I have to shop in the plus size section.
My point of this post, at least one of them, is that for a long time I believed this lie about myself. I believed I needed to be overweight to care about anything else besides my appearance. I truly believed only shallow people cared about how they looked. And then it hit me: this is not true at all. I have lots of friends, many of whom are healthy AND well rounded. They are more at home learning or creating than watching the latest reality drama. They are curious, thoughtful, and intelligent. It’s not just about caring about your appearance, it’s about caring about your health and there is absolutely nothing shallow about that.
When I brought this conversation up with Josh, we came to the conclusion that there are many uninteresting people who are fat and thin and everything in between. It has to do with where you’re willing to go in life, where you’re willing to take your dreams, if you listen to yourself, if you enjoy learning. Not the size of your dress, or pants, or whether or not you wear glasses.
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