Month: January 2016

My daughter is a Spoonie, well according to Instagram she is. This led me to wonder what the heck is the #Spoonie hashtag and what exactly is a Spoonie?

As you know my daughter just went through a Kidney transplant back in August where I gave her a kidney and she bounced back from surgery really fast. Well initially she bounced back really fast but then she kind of receded back to being tired a lot and missing school and stuff.

Kidney disease sucks – we know she will get better but it is a longer road than we thought it would be.

How the Spoon Theory Started

As for the Spoonie hashtag. The idea of this was created by Christine Miserandino. While out at night with a friend she was trying to find a way to describe what it is like to live with a chronic illness.

And the Spoon Theory was born that night.

The idea is that if we look at regular tasks in our day, getting up, getting dressed, making breakfast, talking to people in the street, each of these simple tasks can be reduced to an action.

Symbolized by a spoon

(I don’t do this description justice at all you really need to read the article to hear her fantastic story.)

Anyway, these tasks for a healthy person would be unlimited. We have a nearly unlimited amount of spoons. Where someone like Christine or Taylor in our case, may have 12 spoons.

So as we cruise through our day trying to get my 10,000 steps in, or going to work and then having plans after work, people with chronic illnesses will be stuck deciding what are the most important few things, spoons, that they will do that day.

Here is Christine reading the Spoon Theory Story at a conference a few years back

I know with Taylor she can only do so much in a day and then she is done. Some people with Chronic illnesses can get more done in a day but that will leave them sick in bed for a day or more afterwards.

So this Spoon theory is a great way for us to look at people with Chronic illnesses. They look fine, but follow them around for a few days and you can see the deliberateness in actions. Only doing what is most important and passing on anything that is not.

Over the last few years many many people with chronic illnesses have identified with the #Spoonie hashtag and have used it on Instagram and Twitter and by using this special hashtag people like my daughter can find and support others struggling through the day the same as them.

How Can We Help Spoonies

I have been kind of bad as a dad of a sick kid, especially early on with my daughters illness.

Taylor would be tired and I would come up with little things that we could do. “Lets go to the store” Lets go for a bit of a walk”

I of course was just trying to help. I know for myself that the harder that I push myself the stronger I will be tomorrow. Probably not so true for Taylor and it was very tough for my expectations for her as well as her expectations for herself.

My wife Michelle has always let Taylor set the lead and the expectations. Taylor is very driven. If she is behind in school work she will work really hard, past her limits, to catch up. Michelle will always advocate for her at school and the hospital and make sure that Taylor does not have to push far past her limits and make herself sick.

The best way for us to support and help those with illnesses around us is to let them set the limits.

Make sure that we are helping in any way but not setting up high expectations.

Most of all let that friend or son or daughter to take the lead and set the speed that life is moving at.

Christine Miserandino has been a fantastic spokesperson for those with Chronic illnesses and give great ideas on her blog for how we can help those Spoonies around us.

 

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Personality disorders are often misunderstood by anyone without a medical degree. Because they are very complicated and hard to diagnose, misinformation exists about what personality disorders truly are and how they can be differentiated from one another.

Three cluster classifications exist for personality disorders (A, B, C) and a semi-concrete category of disorders that can’t be placed into the other classifications. While there are more than 10 confirmed personality disorders, the most common 10 exist within these cluster classifications.

Paranoid Personality Disorder

Paranoid personality disorder (PPD) is part of the Cluster A grouping of personality disorders, characterized by general paranoia. This specific disorder focuses heavily on this trait and is usually diagnosed based on the long-standing suspicions and hypersensitivity of patients.

Those with PPD are often searching for and drawing conclusions based on their environment in order to make their delusions and paranoia seem more real and validated. This disorder is characterized by suspicion, emotional constriction, and hostility towards others.

Schizoid Personality Disorder

The second Cluster A disorder is schizoid personality disorder (SPD), marked by a disinterest in social relationships. Those with SPD are often very solitary and isolated individuals who have an overwhelming sense of apathy towards everyone and everything around them.

Persons with SPD may have a bigger interest in living in a created fantasy world as a means of escape and emotional connection, though this is usually an internal thought and not something projected onto the real world.

Schizotypal Personality Disorder

Schizotypal personality disorder (STPD) is the final Cluster A disorder and has a lot in common with SPD but has marked differences. While those with SPD are purposefully isolating, STPD individuals need isolation too but are capable of interacting with others.

This activity is marked by anxiety, odd behavior, and social misinterpretations. Another difference is a noticeable set of eccentricities noticeable in how the speak and dress. STPD individuals often talk to themselves instead of others.

Antisocial Personality Disorder

Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is where the Cluster B classifications begin, and these disorders are classified because of their emotional and erratic behavior characteristics.

ASPD may seem like an isolating disorder to some who latch onto the “antisocial” portion, but the term is more indicative of refusing to conform to standard social graces. This disorder is marked by having a disregard for the interest and rights of others and can be projected in both a moral and ethical sense.

Borderline Personality Disorder

This disorder has a variety of names but is most commonly referred to as borderline personality disorder (BPD). This disorder is mostly characterized by severe instability in most personality facets, but especially in relationships and self-perception.

It’s common that those with BPD have a deep fear that they will be abandoned and this can heavily reflect in their actions. BPD symptoms also include self-harm and wildly fluctuating opinions and attitudes towards others.

Histrionic Personality Disorder

The third Cluster B personality disorder is histrionic personality disorder (HPD). Those with this disorder will have a pervasive need for the approval and recognition of others.

The actions used to get this approval can be very eccentric and flirtations; a common symptom of HPD being sexual and seductive behavior as a means of getting attention. A craving for recognition and stimulation results in load and flamboyant demeanors. HPD individuals are often seen by others as egoists and narcissists.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

HPD is characterized by a person receiving the approval of others, but in contrast narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) individuals look for that approval in themselves to the point where it’s destructive.

With symptoms of vanity, preoccupation with their self-image and power, those with NPD take egotistical eccentricity to a more destructive level as their need for prestige will come before their well-being and their relationships with others.

Avoidant Personality Disorder

The Cluster C personality disorders have problems with anxiety and fear, more so than paranoia. Avoidant personality disorder (AvPD) is characterized by a person having extreme feelings of inhibition and inadequacy in social situations.

These people often feel crippling inferiority and try often to remove themselves from situations of criticism, whether actual or perceived. AvPD individuals have extremely low self-esteem and will often assume others find them to be unappealing and that they will eventually be rejected by those around them.

Dependent Personality Disorder

Dependent personality disorder (DPD) individuals feel a compulsive need to depend on the people around them. They feel as if they only way they can be satisfied is by others meeting their every physical and emotional need, severely limiting their ability to achieve independence as an adult.

This disorder is surrounded by controversy and discourse because of gender roles and other cultural factors that may be what separate a dependent personality from someone with the actual disorder.

Anankastic Personality Disorder

The difference between obsessive-compulsive disorder and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is that the former results in anxiety instead of a personality facet, though the two have been thought to be linked together.

OCPD follows the same series of symptoms, such as a need for orderliness, perfection, and control of the things around them. Those with this disorder are often completely inflexible when it comes to things changing, moving, or not getting their way.

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We are sitting around watching Biggest Loser tonight and as usual the show is making me hungry.

I know that I am not alone in this but people everytime that we watch Biggest Loser I immediately look for snack foods in our pantry.

Left to my own devices I am dangerous in the kitchen – well the pantry with its crap anyway.

Fortunately my wife has trained us well. There is always a healthy choice in the house and although I wouldn’t ever think of eating a tub of ice cream, I don’t even think that would be an option.

Instead we have lightly buttered popcorn, apples, pears, and other great snacks. I really believe as well that it is important not to eat much at all after dinner. Eating later at night just messes up my sleep and makes me hungry and groggy in the morning.

Usually we will eat dinner earlier, around 5:30 or so and then after dinner and after cleaning up the kitchen I like to go for a workout or a walk and then there is just not a lot of evening to worry about eating a lot, just a bit of a snack is all.

How about you? Do you eat a lot after dinner? I would love to hear some evening eating habits from other people as well

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