Today marks week four, day two of consistent exercise with Insanity. That is, 6.5 workouts, most of them are 40 minutes long. And I’m reminding myself that I’ve been here before. In the spring, I made it 14 weeks. I was seeing improvement and then it stopped. I don’t remember why exactly (something to go back and read) but I’m telling myself that this doesn’t stop when the calendar fills up or when 60 days are over. If I’m being honest, it will take a full year of consistent exercise for me to really be in a better place physically. Probably two. And then for the rest of my life.
In the past three weeks, my food intake has been hit or miss. I’ve been experimenting with different calorie counts, and I think I’ve found one that will work for me. On myfitnesspal (lorriebee) you work with net calories. This means if your net calorie goal is 1,400 and you burn 500 calories, you can eat 1,900 calories in a day. I think this is a great tool, but for some reason I’ve been struggling with the notion of eating all of my burned calories.
Myfitnesspal gives you an estimated calories burned, but I’m not convinced it’s accurate. I think I’m burning 400-600 calories during Insanity. But when I log it in, it’s usually more. And then I’d see this insane amount of food I could still eat. And for some reason that triggered me to eat beyond hunger.
So to calm my tender brain I’ve decided, which some research and calculating, that I will consume 1,600 calories a day regardless of how much I burn during exercise. Of course there will be some ups and downs with that number, but I feel good with that. I’m burning about 400 calories, six days a week, so that is a net of about 1,100-1,300 calories which is totally in the weight loss zone for me.
I also feel like 1,600 calories is a very reasonable amount of food for me. I can wrap my head around it and not be obsessive. I can move the numbers around easily to accommodate my day. It feels flexible to me.
If I know I’m going out to dinner or to an event in the evening. I can still have a 200 calorie breakfast and 400 calorie lunch with 1,000 calories to work with in the evening. Or if I’m in the mood for a bigger, 500-600 calorie breakfast/brunch sort of thing. I can make that happen too. It goes with my new mantra “I can have what I want, but I can’t have everything I want” which simply means that yes, if I want to go out to dinner with my husband, I can do that. But, it doesn’t mean I need to go out to eat twice in a day and then snack all day and have dessert after every meal. I just don’t need that much food.
Yesterday was my first day trying out my new set calorie count and it went so well. I even showed a two pound loss on the scale this morning from it. I woke up and had a serving of mexican chili for breakfast, and again for lunch. I measured it and estimated the calories. I hate two teas with milk and sugar. A small treat. And dinner was teriyaki chicken. I didn’t feel obsessive about anything and when I hit the 1,600 calorie mark I felt comfortable and done for the day.
I know this probably sounds like the ramblings of a man-woman, but I needed to share. Mainly to work through these fears I have of sharing and acting. I’m trying to change my inner dialogue and making this a positive journey. Not one of self defeating agony. Last night I was in that bed staring at my clothes hanging in the closet and I visualized what it would be like to fit in all of them, effortlessly. And then I visualized them being too big. I imagined that the sweaters looked like deflated balloons where my arms used to go. I realized in that moment that I can make all of these things happen, there is nothing stopping me.
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