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General Weight Loss Tips

New vs. Old Habits

Old habits die hard. I’m hearing this a lot, as well as replacing old habits with new habits. And finding it difficult to identify these bad habits is a process in and of itself. Sometimes I don’t even know it’s a habit, or that it’s keeping me from my goals.

A couple of days ago I went through the house and threw out food that could cause me to binge. I went through this whole mental process of thinking this is wasteful, I can handle small amounts, and is this really bad to have around? It’s hard for throw away perfectly good “food”, but I did anyway and I have another round to go. I have boxes of graham cracks leftover from gingerbread house building, and right now they aren’t tempting- I could care less about graham crackers, but I worry about what they could turn into. So I will give them away.

And now I’m thinking of tackling my sugar/brown sugar and flour reserves. I cook occasionally with sugar, but I know I can use honey instead. Not much can be done (of the overeating variety, for me) without sugar, so I will keep the flour. I’m actually having these thoughts, what could I easily turn into a dessert? If this can be a dessert, it should go. This is the thing with being able to bake, you can do it quickly and easily without much on hand.

Old habits for me, are thinking “I can handle this”, and in the moment I can, but eventually something will pop up and I’ll find myself making brownies in the microwave and wondering how that even happened. Steps A to B to eating are a blur to me and I’m left with brownie residue in a mug trying very hard to wash away the evidence.

I’m asking myself, how can I  replace these habits and old ways of thinking? It’s a challenge, it’s hard to question a behavior you’ve worked hard at protecting.

What habits are you trying to throw away?

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General Weight Loss Tips

Resound11 Prompt 02: Vices

Did you slip back into any old habits that you wish you hadn’t? Did you gain any new habits that you wish you would have walked away from? Did you discover the evils of Nutella? ‘Fess up … we won’t tell.

This prompt may sound dark and dreary, but we’ll be back to our sunshine selves tomorrow. Take today to reflect on a vice (or two or twelve) that you’d like to give up in the new year.

How will you resound? Follow along here. 

My biggest vice this year was watching TV and going to the movies. I love watching (good) tv. I’m watching Mad Men (again), I’m in season four of Parks and Recreation. I go to the movies with my husband at least once or twice a month. I love snuggling on the couch with him and kitties. I love going to the movies. I love every thing about it, the popcorn, previews and stories. Movies give me hope, inspiration and ideas. They have the ability to change my perspective. I saw Hugo last weekend and the artistry and story of that movie was astounding to me.

I don’t see letting go of a movie date night, but I would like to cut back watching so much TV, especially bad TV. Watching Whitney instead of being creative isn’t how I’d like to spend my time next year. I don’t want to use TV as an escape.

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General Weight Loss Tips

You Can Have What You Want,

…but you can’t have everything you want.

That has been my food mantra from the past several days. I’m trying to replace old habits with new habits and it’s hard. It’s hard because my old ones are so close. There are many days when I know that my habit to overeat is in a closet just a few steps away ready to be opened to rescue me from whatever uncomfortable situation I’m dealing with. Often that situation is telling myself “no” when so often I’ve said yes.

I know in the back of my mind that I can overeat whenever I want,  that option is always there.  I can throw in the towel and just eat more. When this happens my brain shuts off. There are few rational thoughts that happen when I transfer  food to my mouth. Often while the TV is on and I’m alone. These are habits that I’ve cultivated, rationalized, and made sense of in some way for many years. And now I’m left to immerse myself in other behaviors that are less self-destructive and bring me closer to my goals.

This is the hard part.

I’ve realized that action is not difficult for me. Counting calories isn’t the bear I’ve made it out to be. Making time for exercise everyday is possible, even enjoyable. But it’s often my head and my old habits that get in the way.

Right now, the lengths I have to go to prevent overeating may seem extreme to other people. So much so, that I don’t share. I don’t  starve myself, purge, or punish myself in any way, but I have to become someone I’m naturally not. Someone who plans.

My life  has become a game of chess. I know the next five to ten moves I’m going to make. I know what will trigger me and what I can handle. I can handle baking if I have a plan. Brush teeth, chew gum, clean bowl, put it away or in the freezer. I can handle having trigger foods in the house (which for me, is pretty much all food that is delicious) if I’ve had enough to eat, a plan, and positive actions throughout the day.

I know that if I don’t have a plan for my day, I overeat. I know that if my plan is to eat one cookie, and I eat two instead, I will eventually find myself full from and justifying my tenth cookie.

Interestingly enough my most productive days are easiest for me not to overeat. Overeating is not an isolated event. It’s my default when I don’t know what to do. When I feel lost, I eat. When I feel lost, I am sad. When I am sad, I eat. When I eat too much I become unproductive. When I become unproductive, I become sad and then I eat.

My days are filled, because making things happen distracts me. It gives me direction. It keeps my hands and my mind busy and happy.

There is a part of me that worries that I cannot sustain being so mapped out forever, and I don’t disagree. I’m using busy as a distraction for now. I have my still moments, writing this for example is stillness for me. Creating is stillness. My grand hope is that the more I create and cultivate these habits of not turning to food, the easier it will become. I will have created a new neurological pathway. I don’t need to coddle or protect myself as much as I think I do. I can be uncomfortable. Yes, I need to value and cherish myself. Take time for myself. Figure myself out. But, pushing myself to be better and healthier does not have to be unnatural or punishing. It’s okay for me to tell myself “no”. It’s okay to plan and give myself the best possible outcome everyday.

I’ve always believed, on some level, that not giving in to my every whim or desire was in some way self punishing. In some way against who I am. That I would lose myself if I tried to be different or tried to be better. But I’m realizing that the opposite is true. Who I am, at my core, cannot be found in destructive behaviors. I am not my depression. I am not too much food. I am not someone who doesn’t make things happen for herself.  I am not tomorrow, or next week, or next year. I am not procrastination. I am not my need to be comfortable.

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