Tag: Long Time

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Semi-Perfect Day

Krissie gave me a challenge that I couldn’t refuse. To recreate my perfect day, write about it and then do it again. The thing about my perfect day is that it’s not fancy or extravegent. It’s a day where I get things done that make me proud. Things that, I assume, are second nature to most people.

And yesterday was that day. It was not perfect as the house still needs lots of organizational work to get to that maintenance stage. I’m okay with that. It was also not perfect because I still had to deal with life and a schedule that changes almost hourly. Again, I’m okay with that. Setting it up as a “go get em'” day, really transformed how I dealt with my feelings. If something minor upset me, I would brush it off because I didn’t want it to taint my perfect day. I also purposely and publicly have candy in the house (my next post) and I didn’t dig in when I felt unsteady.

The day started with a little last minute work at the computer. I put my exercise clothes on and was ready for the sun to rise. I made a quick trip to the bank and came home to wake the husband up. We went out for our first run in a very long time. I want to call what I did a jog, but it wasn’t. I was pushing myself. I also walked a lot too. It was so fun and freeing. I also loved that I did this without numbers. All I knew was that I needed to be home before a nine am meeting. Other than that, I would run, and walk when I needed to.

When I exercise, numbers distract me. This is why I rarely step on a treadmill or elliptical. And when I do I have to cover up the time clock because it distracts me and I don’t push myself. The same when I’m outside exercising. During C25K the challenges were great, but I hated knowing the time. I hated waiting to be told to run or stop. I know why this is, but I was more obsessed with that than anything else. So it was nice and freeing for me to just be outside and push myself on my own terms. I know that probably sounds silly and wimpish to numbers people. But, goodness I hate time. I hate knowing how long I have to do something, how many minutes I have left, or how far I went. I want to go until I can’t. And that’s what I did.

I’m seeing a trend as far as numbers go in my life. And it’s funny because my husband loves statistics and gets satisfaction from that. The numerical value of time spent, and comparing it to the next time and then the next. Calorie counting, numbers on the scale and minutes spent exercising are all distracting to me. They take away from the heart of what I’m trying to do. And for a long time, I’ve fought against my natural instinct by forcing myself to use numbers to gauge my actions. And on top of that, I would judge myself harshly for not liking it or sticking with it, thinking, I was  flawed. My point is, because something works for seemingly lots of people, doesn’t mean it will work for you. It doesn’t mean anything other than a need to find what does work for you to get the same results. That is all. It doesn’t make you lazy, unfocused or not dedicated. It just means you need another method. I digress.

I came home and put some bacon in the oven and went to answer a few emails. I burnt the bacon. Which was not part of my perfect day. I then decided on an orange and some toast with butter and jam. I got lots of creative work done and then headed out for a few more work related tasks. I came home and ate a bowl of vanilla bean greek yogurt and made dinner. Vegetable tortilla casserole. After dinner I watched The Office and passed out on the couch at 8:30. It seems that my 5-6 hour nights of sleep caught up with me.

How was the day perfect? I went with the flow. When I burned the bacon, got semi-annoying or upsetting emails, when my schedule changed, or when things just weren’t perfect. I didn’t drop the ball on the day. I realized and implemented what I already know to be true:  it isn’t want happens that matters, it’s how I react. 

I also took time to do things that make me happy. Simple stuff makes me happy. I went for a run. I took time to cook dinner. I made time to relax. I journaled throughout the day. I also made time to do lots of laundry and clean.

And finally, I realized that I work really well with a core plan for the day. And what I mean by that is, I have goals for the day that I do no matter what such as: don’t overeat, exercise, get work done. And everything else can move and shift as I see fit.

How was the day not perfect? I should rephrase this all and say that I know a perfect day doesn’t exist. This is fact. There will always be trash to take out, people will always be annoying, and there will always be dirty clothes to wash. But, I understand that I deserve the attitude and actions that bring me as close as possible to that day, on my terms. And when something goes unplanned, I’m ready to deal with it from that perspective rather than, “the sky is falling! the day is over! what’s the point? bring me candy!” .

I’m ready to continue figuring out how to make each day as perfect as possible for me. I find that what I love most is freedom. Freedom to choose how my day goes. Freedom to do what I love: design, create, cook, clean, exercise and be social. Being productive is a huge component to my happiness. I’ve found that relaxing time only feels good to me when I have work to back it up. Otherwise, I feel depressed and lazy.

And finally, I need  flexible daily plans for myself. I need daily reminders of my goals. I need journaling throughout the day. I need core, unwavering goals. Every day can be treated as a perfect day and can plant the seeds for even better, more ideal days down the road. As in, today I can get caught up with my design work and this weekend I can do something really fun. Or today I will take the time to make delicious and healthful food, so that in a year I can have a healthier body. I love the idea of being in the now and working for the future at the same time. Today I love cooking, tomorrow I will be thankful that I cooked. Today I will exercise, tomorrow I will be thankful that I did. Today I will be the clothes away, tomorrow it will be nice to pick out an outfit in two minutes rather than twenty.

And finally, I want build up days. Next Monday looks like a really good day for another ideal day. And not that today can’t be ideal, it will be in it’s own way, because truly, that’s all I have. I don’t know if I will have Monday. But, today, I can make that happen. I feel like each day I can give my chance to build and improve my days. I’m still mulling this all over. Ultimately I want to be the best version of myself that I can. I want to treat myself and act as if I deserve the effort, because I do.  I’m trying to be okay with living without rocks in my shoes.

 

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Wait for Hunger Challenge: Week One

I debated what I would call this challenge.  I went back and forth on using the word “hunger” because it’s loaded. Because people in the world are actually hungry and do not have the luxury of eating when they’re not. There are also people in the world who deny themselves food when they are hungry. I first called it the “feeling it challenge” and then the “wait for it challenge”. And then a million other combinations of words that just didn’t feel right. So in advance, this challenge means exactly what it says: waiting for hunger to eat.

In the past week I’ve been challenging myself to 1) wait for hunger to eat 2) stop at the first signs of full 3) feel the feelings of wanting to eat outside of hunger 4) sit down and eat without watching tv or being in front of the computer 5) find something else to fill the need 6) eliminate guilt from eating. I’m realizing that when I wait for hunger, it takes less food to make me full. When I eat from habit or emotion, I will never, ever be full. This is profound for me. It is profound because I know how much food I need in a day. When I eliminate guilt, the power is gone.

In the past two times I’ve gone out to eat, I’ve slowed down. To drink water, to have conversation, to look around. I’m not stuffing food in my face. I’m making different decisions. When I’m at home, a different challenge arises, having food around all the time. So I make myself think harder. To write down what I’m feeling and to do something else. Anything that will make me happier than overeating. This challenge is not about guilt, deprivation or starvation. It’s about eating, stress free, and then stopping. It’s about moving on.

Yesterday I was more productive and happy  than I’ve been in a long time. I created a task jar where I write down all of the tasks I want to get done on post-it notes. I fold them up and drop them in the jar. I shake it a little and pick one at random. I do that task and nothing else. I was focused. And it worked for me. I completed 14 tasks. I was only tempted to overeat once (yogurt with dark chocolate peanut butter). I got stuff done that I’ve been sitting on for weeks. Stuff I was waiting for the “perfect situation” to complete.

I bring this up because I found something that worked for me. I’ve been making to-do lists and detailed plans using other peoples methods for as long as I can remember. I just don’t work that way. I get overwhelmed, I find excuses and then I just drop it all. I become paralyzed by methods that do not work for me. And the same goes for eating. All I need to change my life if is to wait for hunger. I know how to eat. I know how much my body needs to lose weight. I trust that in myself. When I count calories or eliminate food, it’s because I don’t trust myself. And I end up eating without hunger. Programs, for me, cover the problem. They put power in food, rather than me. I know it works for people. But, as I sit here, still in need of losing 150 + pounds, I need a new way. My way.

So if you feel like you might benefit from this challenge, I encourage you to leave a comment. For the next week I’m making a promise to myself that I will not eat when I’m not genuinely hungry. If I want to eat, I will write instead. I will sew a skirt. I will blog about something fun. I will decorate my house. I will hug my husband. I will do something, anything, that fills me up without food. This isn’t about counting calories, or feeling guilty over any food decision I make. This isn’t about nutrition, or avoiding food groups. It’s simple: only eat when you’re hungry without distractionsand stop eating when you’re full. If you’re in, I will support you in anyway I can. I will correspond in the comments. I will visit your blog. We can do this!

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Journaling for Health

This is something I’ve wanted to work on for a very long time. I love the idea of art journaling through a process. This practice is a daily reminder of where I’m at and where I’m headed. I think it’s easy to for me to forget my goals on a day to day basis and let life get in the way. Creating this took about 15 minutes and it was just focused writing and doodling, which is so peaceful and mind-clearing.

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