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This post has been a few weeks coming, I’ve been nailing down exactly what I want to say and my plan. It’s been awhile since I’ve made any concrete weight loss goals on this blog, and I’m ready to make it happen. I want to lose 50 pounds for my 29th birthday on March 14th. That’s exactly four months, 16 weeks, and 111 days. 50 pounds for me, at my weight is totally reasonable, and of course, if I lose 40, that is reason to celebrate, but 50 is what I’m aiming for.
I’ve shied away from making weight loss goals public, because there is a little part of me that worries that people will think I’m setting myself up for failure and give me advice to just have other smaller or slower goals. To be reasonable with myself. I want to get into it and make it happen. And not just in a way that will only work short term.
While I was visiting Dole, I had the opportunitiy to stop over at the California Health and Longevity Institute which was incredible. If I ever have a spare few thousand, I’m high tailing it to California for a thorough health assessment. During my time there, I was given an hour-long healthy life consultation with a nice lady named Claudia.
Before I even sat down she had read my blog and had printed out notes for me. She was ready. I told her that I struggle with consistency in my life, in all ways. I get really excited and then I drop everything. The tool that she gave me to keep going, was so simple, yet powerful. She told me that when I have the strong desire to drop everything and flee, to ask myself how much can I do?
For example, can I exercise for five minutes? If I can, to do just five minutes. Or one minute. Whatever I can do, to do it. I told her that I struggle with that in two ways, 1) not thinking it’s enough and 2) feeling like I was tricking myself into doing more even though I said just five minutes. And then she told me something, that was a huge “a’ha!” moment for me…
It’s not about the five minutes of exercise for the sake of getting in exercise. It’s the act of doing something when I didn’t want to. She assured me that after doing this several times, I would build up confidence and the habit of doing things when I didn’t want to.
And then I got it. I struggle with lasting changes because I never get to the point of them becoming a habit. I feel like I have to go big or go home, and when I can’t give 100% I don’t try at all.
She said that when I go out and run-jog-walk for an hour, I’m setting myself up to come up with a thousand excuses on days when I can’t wrap my head around an hour spent exercising. That mentally, if I can’t do my best everyday, that I can’t do it at all, and it sets me back and I feel like a failure.
I want a weight loss goal again. I want to delve into the mode and make it happen. I’ve been coasting along with eating well enough, and exercising when I feel like it, but it’s not getting me anywhere, because I don’t have a goal. I do believe that weight loss is a result and not a goal, but having some numbers to reach for is motivating.
50 pounds, would put me at the lowest weight this blog has ever seen. It will mean smaller clothes and more mobility. It also means getting our photos taken professionally again. I told Josh I’d like to have our pictures taken every 50 pounds that I lose.
I’m getting to a place where it’s now or never. I refuse to enter my 30’s as an obese woman. I just cannot do that. I deserve more.
My plan of action is to count calories using MyFitnessPal, Lorriebee and restarting the Insanity program (with days of zumba, strength and running outside when it’s nice). As always I will use this blog to track my progress through photos, what I’m eating, daily thoughts and struggles and celebrations.
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