FYI: This is a lengthy post, you will find this weeks Cook Along challenge at the bottom.

This is what I know for sure: cooking is important. I believe in food, I believe in cooking, I believe in working for delicious, healthful and satisfying food. Cooking at home is cheaper than eating out and you will always know exactly what you’re eating.

And so the Cook Along (or cookalong) was born out of this belief. The belief that getting in the kitchen will somehow make me a better person. I know this to be true. There is a satisfaction that I cannot explain in words that comes to me when I’ve prepared a meal. Some strange force that makes me feel human and whole when I shop locally. Cooking makes me feel like I have the power to change my life and the world around me.
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I was reading Caroline’s blog this morning and cracking up over her “it will be christmas again soon” sentiment. January is coming to a close and well, here comes February.

So far this year I find myself every week checking in with my goals. The goals I set at the beginning of the year, and the new goals that develop as the year progresses. I use Sundays as my goal gathering and planning day and find that it helps keep me in check for the following week.

As I look back over the month I see a list of stuff on my calendar that I did do and didn’t do. The first couple of weeks of the year I didn’t exercise much mainly because I was cramming all of my time with extra projects. Each of those days I had on my to do list “do insanity workout” and then finally the last two weeks of the month I did it. I did Insanity every day (with Sundays off). I write this, along with all of my posts, as a reminder to myself that I’m not giving up.

What if I let those first two weeks set the tone for the year? What if I was determined to be perfect, a new person on January 1st? Would I have given up completely on the idea that eventually I’d get into it. And I did.

I’ve said this before, but when I think about why I blog. Why I share my struggles, why after 4.5 years I still come to this place to share where I’m at even if it is sometimes painful and slightly embarrassing…it’s because of my potential. It’s because deep down I trust that each time I try something new, I’m getting closer. Sticking to this one thing, even if at times I truly wasn’t here, or struggling to be here- I knew somehow there was some important growing going on even if it didn’t always feel like.

With that said, I’m just two weeks in. It’s not over, it’s not even close from over. And I have to realize that. That I need more weeks like I’ve had, adding up on each other. There isn’t a stopping point. This is my life now, if I choose to accept it. My life as someone who has to exercise, who has to consider what she is eating. This isn’t a temporary blip, a chapter of my life that ends when I see a reasonable number on the scale. I’m making this my life now.

I’ve gotten to the point where I can honestly say that the desire to be healthy is much stronger than the desire to overeat or not exercise. I’m not saying I’m cured, or perfect, or won’t even overeat again but I’ve never felt that before. I’ve always wanted the easy path. I wanted to still eat everything I wanted, I didn’t want to sacrifice my time. I didn’t want to push myself. Sure I came here, and logged exercise and points or calories. I’ve done that, but I did it in the mindset of “this is temporary, this won’t be my life forever”.

I’ve accepted that this is who I am. Someone who has to watch what she eats, and someone who has to push hard during exercise. This is my life now. I can push myself harder than I thought. I can realistically exercise everyday without getting burned out. I can take time to prepare meals. This isn’t punishment, this is investment.

So as I look ahead to February I see more solid weeks of exercise. More calorie counting. It looks fun and promising. I will eat delicious and whole foods. I will cook as much as possible. I will try new recipes. I will not go to bed without exercising. I will take Sundays off to rest.

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What is the Dietrine carb blocker?

As you know I am a big proponent of using a good diet and exercise to lose weight although a carb blocker is an interesting idea. There is no such thing as taking a pill to lose weight and even if a pill did the job I am not sure that in the end it makes you any healthier than a classic couch potato.

Most of the time we can just exercise and have a good diet and will lose weight easily that way. Sometimes this does not work though. I get emails every week from people that seem to have trouble losing weight, if they just have two pieces of bread they seem to gain weight easily the next day. I have looked around for a long time for something that would help everyone with this problem.

I have just run across a type of diet supplement known as a carb blocker.

The Dietrine Carb Blocker works with your body’s own natural processes to prevent carbs from being stored as fat. The effective ingredient works by neutralizing the alpha amylase enzyme, effectively limiting the breakdown of carbohydrates into glucose and fat, meaning that your caloric intake can be dramatically decreased, even with carbohydrate-rich foods.

This all may seem a little technical, but the upshot is fairly simple. The Dietrine Carb Blocker will prevent your body from turning carbs into excess fat, safely and easily. It starts working immediately, so you simply need to take two capsules before eating any especially starchy meals.

Are carb blockers a scam?

So my next step was to look around and find something that would work and would not be some kind of scam. I had a few qualifications for a good carb blocker:

• Had to be natural – Who wants to pollute their body with chemicals?
• Had to be cheap – Health food stores always seem to charge a ridiculous amount for what you get
• Had to be proven effective – There are far to many scams in the diet industry and I didn’t want to get ripped off.

I found a bunch of products out there and the trouble was that many are fly by night operations that you can not get hold of by phone, or they exagerated claims (if you could lose 30 pounds a month wouldn’t every have used your product?), and finally most of the products were some kind of crazy dangerous ephedrine product that didn’t actually block carbs at all but could instead cause heart problems.

Dietrine is a carb Blocker

In the end I did find one product that seemed to be a good carb blocker and that is a product called Dietrine. Dietrine seems to give me all of my qualifications. It is made out of beans, you can only buy it online so there is no five layers of middlemen selling to the health food store. And the company has been around for a long time, you can even phone them to ask about that.

If you are one of those people that seems to gain weight far to easily from Italian food or can not seem to lose weight even with diet and exercise than it seems like this Dietrine carb blocker product may be exactly what you are looking for.

Cheat Day on a Diet

Taking a day of your diet is good. A diet is a great example of having commitment to what you want and I applaud anyone and everyone that does a good job of committing themselves to staying healthy with a good diet. The trouble is trying to stay on a diet every day for months or years on end. This is what people aspire to but it is not very easy to do.

Cheating day on a diet confuses your metabolism

A few diets seem to say that you should try to confuse your body by staying on your diet for a few days or a couple of weeks at most and then getting off your diet for anywhere from one to three days. What do you think of this? Well the idea behind the days off on a diet is that you need to confuse your body so that it does not just adjust to lower caloric intake or just lower your metabolism to maintain fat levels.

Diets with a Cheating Day

Would you like to know examples of off day diets? There is a Weight Watchers diet adjustment that involves changing the amount of points you eat a day and cycling though these. You could do a kind of day off on this plan. The Body for life plan is that you do diet and exercise six days a week and eat whatever you want for one day a week. And finally there is the fat loss for idiots program that has you do the diet for 11 days and then take 3 days off before you do it again. This is the most confusing for your body (this is good) and easiest for you to manage.

Rules for a Diet Cheat Day

The best way that I see people doing there diet with days off is to have rules still for your days off. Try to follow the following rules:

1. The idea is to eat what you want but do not overdo it.
2. First of all you need a good regimen for your diet days and then for your days off the rules should be about how you cheat.
3. Try to make sure that you are not being ridiculous because it is your day off. Do not eat a whole large pizza or a gallon of ice cream.
4. Do not binge, no huge meals just meals that make you comfortably full
5. This is the day that you go to a restaurant if you want.
6. Do not eat three days worth of food in one day. The idea is that you can cheat but you don’t want to spend the whole week just catching up.

I hope that this plan for days off helps. I know that I have struggled with this in the past but the best thing is to just expand on your regular diet and at the same time make sure that get to eat those things that you are craving, in small measures of course.

What is Good Bacteria

There is lots of confusion about bacteria in our body and what is good bacteria. We all seem to avoid bacteria in our lives and this is usually a good idea although it is also good to make sure that we are not being crazy avoiding bad bacteria.

There is also another type of bacteria, good bacteria and some people call this probiotic, that is a great thing for your body. Quite often before people go away on holidays to Mexico they will take good bacteria like Acidophilus. Also many people that go on a cleanse wipe out all the good bacteria in their body and it is a good idea to reintroduce good bacteria.

Good bacteria benefit the human body in so many ways. Briefly summarized, they:

1. Acidify the colon: The ideal pH of the colon is between 6.7 and 6.9. Acetic acid and lactic acid are some of the byproducts that help create this. The acid environment inhibits the growth of harmful bacteria such as salmonella, which causes food poisoning; shigella, the main cause of diarrhea; and e. coli, which can cause intestinal disease and kidney failure. Good bacteria also produce a volatile fatty acid which, along with the other acids, make it difficult for fungus and yeast (candida) to survive.
2. Normalize bowel movements by decreasing the time it takes for waste products to move through the digestive system. They also stop diarrhea and correct constipation.
3. Improve the immune system. Good bacteria help stimulate the formation of antibodies which protect our bodies against infectious disease.
4. Help provide vitamins. Good bacteria help produce vitamin K, which is necessary for blood clotting and the formation of new bone.
5. Aid in production of Lactase. This is an enzyme necessary to digest milk and milk products. Without lactase, milk allergies are a sure thing.
6. Remove toxic elements. Lactobacillus acidophilus deactivates various toxic compounds produced by other organisms or in foods.
7. Are instrumental in reducing cholesterol. A high-fiber diet and good bacterial flora can lower cholesterol levels, protect against colon cancer, and even improve fat digestion by providing more bile acids.
8. Help eliminate gas problems. Proper bacteria in the colon eliminates bowel gas and sweetens the breath. Bad breath (halitosis) is frequently caused when “bad” bacteria take over in the colon and produce foul-smelling waste. These gases can be expelled or reabsorbed in to the blood and carried to the lungs and exhaled. All the breath mints in the world won’t correct bad breath caused by bowel problems. I knew a former neighbor who just reeked of bad breath and body odor. His wife kept asking me what supplement I could give her husband to stop his stinky breath. This woman had tried every over-the-counter remedy for halitosis known to mankind and nothing had worked. Knowing this man and his diet, I knew that his bowel was just loaded (he had what I call an “ol’ poop belly” –huge and hard) from years of incorrect eating. He was not willing to consider bowel cleansing as I’m suggesting here, so he and his bad breath (and his disappointed wife) just went on as usual. We will discuss autointoxication in Chapter.

Again, a proper balance of friendly bacteria is essential for optimal health and a good digestive system. An imbalance may make the body susceptible to such ailments as digestive problems, skin problems, acne, reduced immunity, arthritis, liver and gallbladder problems, failing memory, hypertension, fatigue, and migraine headaches, to name just a few.

Many people think the only reason to take lactobacillus acidophilus as a supplement is if they have some type of bowel or digestive problem. The truth is the friendly bacteria in your bowels have some far-reaching effects you’ve probably never dreamed of. These hard-working organisms produce a variety of substances that can prevent cancerous tumors, inactivate viruses, produce natural antibodies and vitamins, and reduce cholesterol. New research has linked theses bacteria with even more wonders.

A final note on “gardening”. Keep in mind that lactobacilli acidophilus are living organisms, and as a result they are highly susceptible to dying off and losing their effectiveness. Most cultures you purchase need to be kept refrigerated or frozen to maintain their viability. There are some brands that do not have to be refrigerated (which is convenient when traveling), and they activate in the gut. They should be taken on an empty stomach 20 to 40 minutes before meals when your digestive acids and juices are not being produced in large quantities. I suggest taking these living organisms first thing in the morning on an empty stomach so it coats the intestinal tract.

Oh yes, you will need to forgo your morning cup of coffee because it will destroy all the good bacteria in your intestinal system.

I know that this may be a lot to take in but what is good bacteria is a good question to ask.

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It’s 10pm, but I picked a name for the Zenergy Powerballs! I just scrolled through the comments with my eyes closed and pointed my finger to Jessica from http://shortystylee.wordpress.com/. Just send me an email at tokenfatgirl(at)gmail.com and I’ll have those send out to you! Thanks for your oatmeal topping comments, I forgot about adding cinnamon!

I just finished day 12 in a row (except for sundays) of exercise and I have a few comments to make, in list form.

1) I feel a lot better physically. I have no clue what I weigh, but I feel good. My body is moving better, I just feel good.

2) It doesn’t get easier. It’s only been (almost) two weeks of consistent exercise and I’m still sweating and pushing myself as hard as I was on day one. This are getting slightly easier, my stretches are a tiny bit deeper and I’m moving better.

3) I still don’t want to exercise. It’s so shocking, right? I do not want to exercise. At all. Which makes me laugh because I think my whole life I was waiting to turn into someone who wanted to exercise. The truth of the matter is, she doesn’t exist. I don’t want to. I didn’t want to tonight. I didn’t want to yesterday or the day before. I’ve craved runs before, maybe twice, but I think coming to terms with the fact that there won’t be a day when the clouds part and I want to exercise. So knowing that- I just have to do it anyway.

4) I’m exercising even when the conditions aren’t perfect. Some days I’m really sore, other days I don’t exercise until 10pm, and occasionally I have to exercise before eating dinner or getting ready for the day. We don’t have a huge living room, but we still move the couch out of the way and push the coffee table aside. I write this as a reminder to myself: I can exercise even when the conditions aren’t perfect. They never will be. I don’t need a bigger living room, the right program, a gym membership, or the right shoes to exercise. I never did.

5) I’m still fat. Hey self, guess what? You’re still fat! And you thought all you’d have to do was a couple of weeks of hard exercise and you’d be done? Nope. I’m still wearing the same clothes as I did last month. And I’m okay with all of this. At least I’m writing it as a note to myself that it’s okay. I’m trusting my process. I’m trusting that I’m doing what I need to do to be a healthier person.

I am okay with who I am today as long as I am doing everything in my power to take care of myself. To be a healthy person today, for tomorrow. That’s all I can hope for. It’s okay that I’m still fat. This doesn’t happen in two weeks, or two months.

And on to fun stuff. I’m sure we all have lives and interests outside of our trying to be healthier selves and I’d like to here about what you’re into lately. What books you’re reading, or shows you’re watching or about your closet organization.

Here it what I’m into lately:

Grey’s Anatomy- I just finished season two and I’m shamefully hooked. It just didn’t seem like my kind of show, and now I find myself watching it late at night or early in the morning. Getting my fix of Meredith, Izzie and George.

Finishing up my Valentine’s jewelry line to come out early next week!

Genealogy: We had our DNA tested by 23andme.com (nope they didn’t pay me or ask me to write this) and just got the results this week. They tell you things like genetic diseases you’re prone to getting, ancestry and other tidbits like what color eyes your future kids will have (blue for us). These results propelled us to give ancestry.com a try and oh my lord it’s so fun. I’ve traced my mother’s dad’s line all the way back to the 800’s. Turns out I’m related to the King of Sweden on a direct line from my grandfather. I’ve wanted to do this since I was a kid, but never knew how to start. I may never sleep again, why sleep when I can find out that I’m related to royalty a thousand years ago?

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I’ve been eating this oatmeal off and on for about three weeks now. I love oatmeal in the morning, because it’s so darn filling, but my previous recipe called for brown sugar. And because eating unsweetened oatmeal would leave me feeling like Oliver Twist, I decided to add a banana and some raisins.

I call this Power Oatmeal because it makes me feel powerful and because it features Zenergy Powerballs. Powerballs people, powerballs!

Okay…here’s how I make my oatmeal:

1/2 C old fashioned oats and 1 C. unsweetened vanilla almond milk

Add to a saucepan. And hey, as I was snapping up photos this morning I realized that my breakfast features not one, but three christmas gifts! Here you will find a stainless steel, copper rimmed pot from my sister. Thanks sister!

Using this rad bird bowl from my mom!

Once the oatmeal starts boiling add one chopped up banana and 1/8 C raisins. Stir. Let cook for another two minutes. My trick to perfect oatmeal is to take it off the heat before you think it looks done. Oatmeal will continue to cook in your bowl, so if you take it off the heat when it’s still runny it will firm up to the perfect (not dry) consistency. I learned this the hard way. I always thought I couldn’t make oatmeal until I did this.

I put a powerball in the microwave for about 15 seconds to soften (this probably isn’t recommended, but I’m a rule breaker). I really like the almond and coconut flavors the best. They are filled with natural stuff like dates, almonds, and cacao nibs, which I enjoy a lot.

Here’s the powerball! These were sent to me by the owner of the company Peggy Sue Honeyman Scott (try saying that ten times fast). What I like about her is that she is hands-on with the promotion of her company. She contacted me personally back in November and even included a nice little note with her Zenergy Powerballs. I like that, I like personal. And I like these powerballs in my oatmeal.

Top with a little shredded, unsweetened coconut if that’s your thing.

And enjoy with a nice glass of grapefruit juice in your special Floyd stem wear. Another Christmas gift from my sister in law. Which is proof that if you give me a gift I will actually use it…a lot.

So because Peggy Sue is so awesome she agreed to send one of my readers a sampling of her Zenergy Powerballs, which honestly make a great breakfast by themselves or snack. I’ve been known to eat one while making dinner.

Just leave a comment and I’ll draw a name at random and have them send out to you!

What are you favorite oatmeal toppings?

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8 week meditation study

Cool new 8 week meditation study came out today. I have mentioned before that I have meditated a fair amount in the past. Nothing like Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love, but enough to know the affect that it can have. Meditation is great. Anyway one of the big things that meditation does is still the mind so that you are much better able to keep your concentration as well as creativity.

Studies tend to be inconclusive on the physical effect to your brain from meditation but a new report seems to show that in just 8 weeks it can make a big difference.

8 Week Meditation Study

An eight-week pro­gram of medita­t­ion led to brain struc­ture changes in peo­ple par­ti­ci­pat­ing in a stu­dy, re­search­ers say. It’s the first time that medita­t­ion, a prac­tice ad­vo­cat­ed by a range of re­li­gious tra­di­tions, has been shown to lead to such changes, ac­cord­ing to the sci­en­tists.

Pre­vi­ous re­search, they said, had re­vealed struc­tur­al dif­fer­ences in the brains of med­i­ta­tors, but could­n’t doc­u­ment that medita­t­ion had ac­tu­ally caused those changes. The re­search­ers re­ported that par­ti­ci­pat­ing in an eight-week medita­t­ion pro­gram ap­peared to make meas­ur­a­ble changes in brain re­gions as­so­ci­at­ed with mem­o­ry, sense of self, em­pa­thy and stress.

“Al­though the prac­tice of medita­t­ion is as­so­ci­at­ed with a sense of peace­ful­ness and phys­i­cal re­laxa­t­ion, prac­ti­tion­ers have long claimed that medita­t­ion al­so pro­vides cog­ni­tive and psy­cho­log­i­cal ben­e­fits that per­sist through­out the day,” said Sara Laz­ar of the Mas­sa­chu­setts Gen­er­al Hos­pi­tal’s Psy­chi­at­ric Neu­roimag­ing Re­search Pro­gram, the stu­dy’s sen­ior au­thor. “This study demon­strates that changes in brain struc­ture may un­der­lie some of these re­ported im­prove­ments and that peo­ple are not just feel­ing bet­ter be­cause they are spend­ing time re­laxing.”

The study is to ap­pear in the Jan. 30 is­sue of the jour­nal Psy­chi­a­try Re­search: Neu­ro­imag­ing.

Meditation Study Shows Changes to the Brain

The in­ves­ti­ga­tors scanned the brain struc­tures of 16 study par­ti­ci­pants two weeks be­fore and af­ter they took part in the eight-week Mind­ful­ness-Based Stress Re­duc­tion Pro­gram at the Uni­vers­ity of Mas­sa­chu­setts Cen­ter for Mind­ful­ness. In ad­di­tion to weekly meet­ings that in­clud­ed prac­tice of mind­ful­ness medita­t­ion – which fo­cus­es on non­judg­men­tal aware­ness of sensa­t­ions, feel­ings and state of mind – par­ti­ci­pants re­ceived au­di­o record­ings for guid­ed medita­t­ion prac­tice and were asked to keep track of how much time they prac­ticed each day. A group of non-med­i­ta­tors al­so had their brains scanned dur­ing the same time pe­ri­od.

The med­i­ta­tors in the 8 week meditation study re­ported spend­ing an av­er­age of 27 min­utes each day prac­tic­ing mind­ful­ness ex­er­cises, and their re­sponses to a “mind­ful­ness ques­tion­naire” in­di­cat­ed sig­nif­i­cant im­prove­ments com­pared with pre-par­ticipa­t­ion re­sponses, the sci­en­tists re­ported.

Anal­y­sis of the brain scans, which fo­cused on ar­eas where medita­t­ion-as­so­ci­at­ed dif­fer­ences were seen in ear­li­er stud­ies, found in­creased grey-mat­ter dens­ity in the hip­po­cam­pus, known to be im­por­tant for learn­ing and mem­o­ry, and in struc­tures as­so­ci­at­ed with self-a­ware­ness, com­pas­sion and in­tro­spec­tion. Grey mat­ter is the brain tis­sue that con­tains nerve cells.

If you are interested in learning more about meditation then check out this article on meditation for fitness that I wrote a while ago that is of course still relevant. Also There was a past study on meditation for stress relief and the science of meditation.

After seeing this 8 week meditation study I say find a quiet corner in the house and just sit quietly and see what meditation can do for you.

Do you ever wonder if who you are is directly related to your size? What if I went through high school as the skinny cheerleader or the girl who actually had a prom date? I was told awhile ago that the reason why I’m so “interesting” is because of my weight. I say interesting lightly because I can think of so many people who are way more interesting and informed than me. I would call myself…interested more than anything else.

I’m curious, I love to learn, I’m passionate, and I’m excited. Mostly. But, I surely wasn’t like this in highschool. I was like most girls- obsessed with boys (a borderline stalker), and crying about drama with friends. I watched every episode of Dawson’s Creek and loved driving in the car (music up, windows down) with my friends. I have all the notes to prove it. I wasn’t academic, I wasn’t into sports, I wasn’t artistic, I was pretty much average across the board. I’ve always had a creative streak, and the desire to learn everything, but as I grew up those desires were slightly burned out with the desire to fit in.

But then I went to college and realized it was better to be unique and interesting than to be like everyone else. Wanting to fit in, slowly became a thing I left in high school. My dreams became bigger, and my desire to learn and try something new grew. I did a lot in college, I found my way in nyc (by way of my now-husband) and I have interesting friends. I’m comfortable with who I am now more than any other time in my life, but I realized that I’m not comfortable accepting that I am who I am because of my weight. I’m not okay with discrediting who I’ve become with my weight.

I am who I am because I listen to my heart. I listen to my instincts. Because I trust my path. It’s not because I have to shop in the plus size section.

My point of this post, at least one of them, is that for a long time I believed this lie about myself. I believed I needed to be overweight to care about anything else besides my appearance. I truly believed only shallow people cared about how they looked. And then it hit me: this is not true at all. I have lots of friends, many of whom are healthy AND well rounded. They are more at home learning or creating than watching the latest reality drama.  They are curious, thoughtful, and intelligent.  It’s not just about caring about your appearance, it’s about caring about your health and there is absolutely nothing shallow about that.

When I brought this conversation up with Josh, we came to the conclusion that there are many uninteresting people who are fat and thin and everything in between. It has to do with where you’re willing to go in life, where you’re willing to take your dreams, if you listen to yourself, if you enjoy learning. Not the size of your dress, or pants, or whether or not you wear glasses.

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There are three reasons why I love this dinner, it’s quick easy and delicious. I put the pot roast in the crock pot around 10 am and let it cook on low for about eight hours. It turned out incredibly flavorful and tender. I love rosemary, so that helps.

Here’s what I did (if you can even call this a recipe), I placed a medium sized chuck roast in the crock pot. Sprinkled liberally with sea salt, pepper and rosemary on both sides. Drizzled with olive oil and add about 1-2 inches of water. Set on low, until the last hour and a half and then I bumped it up to high heat. There’s a little trick to tender pot roast: let it cook until it’s fork tender. If the meat doesn’t break apart easily, it still needs time to cook.

The Hasselback potatoes were easy too: set your oven temp. to 425 degrees. Wash potatoes thoroughly and then cut thin slits careful not to cut in half. Place garlic in the slits in you like. I used Garlic Gold on top (an olive oil and garlic mixture) with some sea salt. Let bake until tender about 40-45 minutes. I had these baking while I worked out, which was a nice reward. I topped with a little butter after they came out of the oven.

The thing I love about these potatoes is that there isn’t any room for over eating. I made enough for us (and another for lunch today) and that’s it. The problem I have with mashed potatoes is that I could eat them until I turn into an actual potato.

Add some raw spinach, almonds and dressing on your plate and you’re set!

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